If Tom Brady wins the Super Bowl 2 more times, he can create his own Nazgul.
Life is a constant cycle between telling your friends you aren't studying enough and convincing your parents that you are.
"It needs to soak" Is probably the biggest excuse for not doing the dishes
Antimaskers must all support overturning all public smoking prohibitions because the entire anti-smoking position is based on public health concerns related to the (not 100% proven) risks of one's behavior on others (second hand smoke).
Signing contracts with blood actually makes sense. A written signature can be forged or ambiguous, but the DNA test will always show whose signature it is.
Moving a lot as a child helps you identify how old you were when things happened in your life as you can associate age ranges to specific houses.
Not having any friends turned out to be a much bigger problem than having friends offer you drugs or alcohol
Eyeglass Cleaning Cloths don't get nearly enough credit for the kick-ass job they consistently perform.
nothing is stopping you from putting a bike lock on someone elses bike.
Some people ask for your advice and ignore it, because they want an audience more than they want guidance.
Guys probably give better handjobs on average because they practice on themselves regularly
Jumping turned out to be much less of a common occurrence in life than video games would have you believe.
Things weren't "better" when you were a kid, you just didn't notice the trash around you
If doing taxes was an actual subject in school, a lot of people would most certainly still think it's boring and not go to.
The Truman show probably could’ve ended much earlier if Truman just said the n-word
Being nervous around a person you’re hoping to get into a relationship with is considered normal, but being nervous around your significant other is considered worrisome.
Wikipedia's writing has a surprisingly consistent tone considering how many people contribute to it.