The lids on Tylenol bottles drastically underestimate how good kids are at opening things, and horribly overestimate how good a hungover adult is at opening things.
"Take a picture, it will last longer" was probably a much more snarky comment back when everyone didn't have a camera in their pockets.
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Any sufficiently advanced trolling is indistiguishable from real posts
The scary thing about dating is you are going to break up or get married
If people said half the stuff that hentai characters said during sex. A lot less people would have sex.
If Tom Brady wins the Super Bowl 2 more times, he can create his own Nazgul.
Life is a constant cycle between telling your friends you aren't studying enough and convincing your parents that you are.
"It needs to soak" Is probably the biggest excuse for not doing the dishes
Antimaskers must all support overturning all public smoking prohibitions because the entire anti-smoking position is based on public health concerns related to the (not 100% proven) risks of one's behavior on others (second hand smoke).
Signing contracts with blood actually makes sense. A written signature can be forged or ambiguous, but the DNA test will always show whose signature it is.
Moving a lot as a child helps you identify how old you were when things happened in your life as you can associate age ranges to specific houses.
Not having any friends turned out to be a much bigger problem than having friends offer you drugs or alcohol
Eyeglass Cleaning Cloths don't get nearly enough credit for the kick-ass job they consistently perform.
nothing is stopping you from putting a bike lock on someone elses bike.
Some people ask for your advice and ignore it, because they want an audience more than they want guidance.