There's nothing like mopping to find out how shitty of a job sweeping you did.

Flat Earthers probably get upset whenever they see the Universal Logo

They cast Keanu Reeves for Cyberpunk 2077 because he won't age no matter how long it takes to develop.

The reason grandmas think you keep getting taller is because they keep getting smaller.

Your hand is the actual salt shaker.

All dogs can smell drugs. The hard part is getting them to snitch.

It turns out that living through a global event that will be remembered in the history books isn't anywhere near as exciting as reading about it in history books makes it seem.

Ears are smoke detector detectors.

Some of the people who demand tolerance display the least of it.

The word "FUCK" has become so common that it doesn't feel like a curse word anymore.

If we lived in 3rd person a lot of people would take better care of their bodies

“A pair of scissors” and “two scissors” represent two different quantities of scissors.

Being honest is more important than being right

The only real monster in Scooby-Doo is a talking dog.

When phones became able to play and store porn, they gained both bigger screens and... passwords.

Most of us don’t tolerate people who abuse us and lie to us, but we tolerate leaders that do the same

More adults are probably spanked a year than kids.

You only realize how many swears are in a song when ur parents are listening

Mark Zuckerberg has enough money to get a better haircut.

If you want to know if someone is an alcoholic, look in their recycling bin, not their fridge

Calling your friend “brother” in casual conversation is normal but calling your actual brother in casual conversation “brother” is strange