Halloween is the Only Day in the Year when you can Blatantly Trespass on Someone’s Property and make a Non-Negotiable Demand.
The reason so many adults lose optimism in the world is that you get older and realize Superman isn’t real, then you get a little older and realize Lex Luther is real.
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The more you understand a conversation between two strangers the less likely they know each other well
We live in a society where a scientist make very less money than a rapper who can rhyme Gucci with pussy .
Those scammy accounts that add you as friends are more likely to succeed if they did not use a hot chick display pic.
The ancient Greek myth of Prometheus, the creator of Man and founder of science, involved his liver being eaten by an eagle and then re-growing itself back by the next day. Thousands of years later, medical science learned that the liver is the only human organ that can actually re-grow itself.
Teenagers smoke cigarettes to "act" like adults, but adults smoke because they started as teenagers.
People will eat a whole pan of bread sticks but won't eat the crust off a pizza.
The volume level of one's opinion is often inversely proportional to their knowledge on the matter
As you get older you start to realise that far fewer people have seen the movies you thought everyone has seen.
Romance movies are relationahip pornography and give people unrealistic views about love.
Our lives are amazingly luxurious compared to the lives of our ancestors, but it's even more amazing that we end up more miserable than ever
One of the reasons sad songs are so attractive when we are feeling down is because happy songs feel like blatant mockery.
You know we’ve fucked up as a species when a bad year for humans is a good year for the planet.