Being told to relax is the opposite of relaxing.

the public health impact of people going to halloween parties is much scarier than halloween itself

If you're famous enough then you can go out as yourself on Halloween

Seeing a stranger’s mouth nowadays feels like you’re looking at their butthole.

When someone leaves a comment that they don't care, they still care more than someone who didn't comment at all.

The reason vampires cannot see their reflection in mirrors is because historically mirrors are made of silver which cannot reflect evil things, modern mirrors, however are usually not coated in silver due to the manufacturing cost meaning unless the mirror is old a vampire would show up in it.

Being conspicuously well behaved and cheerful while a sibling is being scolded is the most passive aggressive way kids piss each other off.

You have proberly seen more of the moons surface than you have earth's

The most attractive people aren’t those we see on the internet, but instead are those who we only see for a glance as they pass us by on the street.

A part is connected, apart is disconnected

It’s so satisfying when you make an obscure film/tv reference and someone else gets it.

Companies instantly take our money once we buy something, but we have to wait 5-7 business to get our money back

Humans created the social norm that men have shorter hair than women. It's not part of our DNA

Whenever we give animals the "thumbs up" they probably think we're showing off what makes us able to be so much more advanced than they'll ever be.

Halloween is the Only Day in the Year when you can Blatantly Trespass on Someone’s Property and make a Non-Negotiable Demand.

The reason so many adults lose optimism in the world is that you get older and realize Superman isn’t real, then you get a little older and realize Lex Luther is real.

The more you understand a conversation between two strangers the less likely they know each other well

A paper has 6 sides, but only 2 of them are usable

We live in a society where a scientist make very less money than a rapper who can rhyme Gucci with pussy .

Those scammy accounts that add you as friends are more likely to succeed if they did not use a hot chick display pic.

The ancient Greek myth of Prometheus, the creator of Man and founder of science, involved his liver being eaten by an eagle and then re-growing itself back by the next day. Thousands of years later, medical science learned that the liver is the only human organ that can actually re-grow itself.