In an alternate dimension somewhere, everyone moon walks but michael jackson invented walking forward.

Every masturbation session is an orgy if you have Dissociative Identity Disorder

Dogs having a 85% shorter life span than humans is direct evidence that life is not always fair.

When you catch people having sex in a weird place its trashy. When they tell you its considered funny.

The most suspicious thing to buy in a gun store is a single bullet.

Earth is slowly getting drained into space because we're sending out rockets and satellites made of earth's materials

Children are the most likely to collect keychains and the least likely to own keys.

Sleeping in the comfiest bed can't even compare to cuddling and sleeping next to someone you love

The next generation of people won't recognise Venom as a Spider-Man villain.

You either die a rock star, or you live long enough to see your music get used to sell hemorrhoid cream.

Popcorn ceilings are probably just as unique as snowflakes

At least 2 of your ancestors survived the black death, guaranteed.

Dora isn't an explorer because she only goes through mapped territorys.

Shaggy named Scooby after the snacks and not the other way around.

Wood is a much rarer substance in the Universe than diamonds

People are getting way better at holding back coughs.

Procrastination is easier done than said

Leaving dog poo on grass is more environmentally friendly than putting it in plastic bag and throwing it in the bin.

calling yourself ugly is disrespectful to your parents

You can tell a lot about a person based on how they park, how they treat wait staff, and where they leave their shopping carts.

As soon as you press skip on a shuffled playlist your music standards become 100% stricter on what is enjoyable listen to.