People who drink and claim to be drunk are never as drunk as the people who drink and claim to be sober
When a martial artist attacks someone, it is technically a work of art.
A scythe is a gardening tool. Therefore the Grim Reaper is a gardener, and we are the grass.
At some point in your life when you were 3 years old, your age matched the exact digits of pi
You don't really think about the main function of a house being to keep the weather out until the house stops performing that function well.
As you get older, the reasons you have to cry are more valid. Yet, the act of crying is more frowned upon.
You don’t actually know what floor you’re on. You just have to take the elevator’s word.
Babies throw up so effortlessly. It's a shame we lose that skill as we grow up.
The cars in the Flintstones were foot-powered because the dinosaurs haven't gone extinct yet
Saying you’d be happy if you died tomorrow either shows that you’re really happy with your life or you’re really depressed
Chefs and blues musicians are two jobs where the fatter you are the more people assume you're good at what you do.
You always win arguments in your head because everyone there thinks like you.
If you check social media first thing every morning, you’re putting other people’s thoughts into your head before your own.
being told that ur tired or angry is more annoying than being either of those things
Chalkboards are the dark mode of the classroom, and whiteboards the light mode.