Shower Thoughts 🚿
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Butt plugs are pacifiers for assholes
A really good liar will have you believing they are a bad one
If the insides of Kit-Kat's are made of crumbled up Kit-Kat's then wtf was the first Kit-Kat made of
K - Okay , KK - Okay Okay , KKK - Not Okay
Red heads don't get to go "salt and pepper", their hair goes "cinnamon sugar".
You know you are welcome, when the host offers you the WiFi password
If sunlight kills vampires, then they would die on most nights since moonlight is reflected sunlight.
Dumbledore shows blatant and inappropriate favoritism for Gryffindor
It's a good idea to wait 24 hours after eating to leave a food review.
The word β€œprocrastinator” implies that there are amateur crastinators
Normall a spy whose cover has been compromised would not return to do the same operation again, yet, Perry the Platypus continues to do so.
Your non-dominant hand is better groomed and maintained since you use your dominant hand to do the grooming.
It's honestly impressive how humans have managed to sexualize every single living being and object on earth.
Each animal's shit expresses a different thing in slang.
Ninjas have covered all but eyes while Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have covered nothing but eyes
Being angry at science is no different than being told how an engine works and being angry at the mechanic
It's more socially acceptable to hate 100% of people, then to hate 10% of people.
We get sweaty palms in situations where we need them dry most.
It is shocking that cats, widely considered to be assholes, willingly use a litter tray, rather than going wherever they want.
A washer washes, a freezer freezes, but a hammer doesn't ham
We take for granted those who are so passionate about something, they upload tutorials to help us out with no reward.