Stumbling across your favorite movie on TV is more enjoyable that playing it yourself.

90% of being an adult is keeping your screaming on the inside

Pyramids are cool but our ancestors figuring out the process to turn plants into bread and invented baking is pretty awesome

Regardless of how far technology has progressed, cereal bags are still not ziplock.

Walking around at work and chatting with random people is considered lazy, unless you are the CEO, then you’re down to earth.

Being warm after being cold feels ten times better than just being warm.

A crematorium owner could be a very effective serial killer.

Slow internet somehow feels worse than no internet.

The only sneezes in movies are the ones important to the plot

If you take literally any one letter out of "Meow," it makes a more realistic cat than "Meow" does.

The scariest thing in the world is a bug that you don't think can fly suddenly flying.

Muppets have front facing eyes, and are therefore predators

Most Ads on PornHub actually tell you to stop watching porn and meet real women

Superheros wear capes because they are not comfortable showing their ass in tights

Doing nothing and doing too much are both considered "not having life".

Web sites tell you "We value your privacy" and then continue and list all the ways they will violate your privacy

A drop of water in a cup of milk doesn't change much but a drop of milk in a cup of water does

Kids who get mad in video games are the type of people who get mad in traffic as adults.

If men are trash then blowjobs are junk food.

Flamethrowers are rapid fire weapons

The first sip of a drink is better than the rest