Batman only fights crime at night because if he did it during the day he'd get tan lines.

People would eat the crust on the pizza more if the crust was made into garlic bread instead

Success is like pregnancy.
Everybody congratulates you but nobody know how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

If a mute (or deaf) person is missing a finger, they have a speech impediment.

Your cat would kill you if you were smaller than it.

People act like OCD is a character trait and not a disorder

There are millions of people who justify being shitty because the world is shitty who are responsible for the world being shitty because they act shitty because they think the world is shitty.

If there was an outfit that exposed what a bikini covers but covers what a bikini exposes, it would show less skin but be deemed more inappropiate.

Santa is a real asshole for bringing rich kids more expensive gifts.

No one can be really sure that dying while sleeping is a peaceful death.

People in clean houses always appologize for "the mess" while dirty people make no mention of the filth in their homes.

The quote "lighting doesn't strike the same place twice" makes zero sense when you realize lighting rods exist for a reason.

If ads were banned, most shit content on YouTube, Instagram and other media would disappear with them

The people on Tatooine probably assumed Luke killed his Aunt and Uncle, scorched the house, and then fled the planet.

If you teleported 70 million light-years away from Earth, and had a VERY powerful telescope, you could see the dinosaurs.

Overall, chickens have probably flown further as an airline meal than they have as a species.

It’s far more patriotic to question and hold leadership accountable, than to blindly support them.

The fact the minions have front facing eyes indicate that they are predators

A person who checks the ceiling for the word gullible isn't gullible. By checking the ceiling, they are suspending judgement until they see for themselves whether gullible is on the ceiling. A gullible person would simply believe anything they hear, and therefore not bother checking the ceiling.

It's interesting how people often feel uncomfortable showing their underwear even to friends, unless it's from a different material and has a tag saying it's a swimsuit, in which case it's totally fine to show it to absolute strangers

5 second unskippable ads are better than 30 second ads that are skippable after 5 seconds, because you don't have to move; but we don't like them because we are not in control.