Texting is almost the same as email and yet it feels so much more personal.
Food allergies are when the body thinks that a certain of food is going to kill you, so to save you from being killed by the food it kills you before the food can
As a kid, adults were seen as carefree and cool, but as an adult, kids are seen as carefree and cool. It shows that life sucks as you experience it.
If you put metal in a microwave you have quite the show, but the insides of most microwaves are made of metal and don't cause fireworks
Have you realized that Apple stores don't actually have Windows. They just have walls made out of glass
Exercise is pain insurance- you feel pain in small amounts temporarily so that you don’t feel as much pain in the future.
Your bed is a wireless charging station for your body. Just need good contact for the duration.
Before they were posted online, Unboxing videos were probably just a way to record potential damage to packages as proof for refunds.
The percentage of your phone’s battery after a date is how much you actually rate your date
Among Us makes you think how many innocent people have been unfairly prosecuted in the past
The existence of a refrigerator implies the existence of a frigerator.
Maybe the reason so many witches and wizards from slytherin turn evil is because of Dumbledore randomly dealing out points to other houses so they don't win
The world wasn't better when you were a kid, it's that you were a kid, and you didn't realize how shitty the world was.
Parents want teens to clean their own room because they're afraid of what they'll find in there
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Hearing your favourite song on the radio is always better than hearing it on your playlist
The colour we associate with vanilla is white, but vanilla beans are black.