Shower Thoughts 🚿
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If there was a new messiah, nobody would believe him
The degree to which one hates mosquitoes is typically based on how much mosquitoes love them.
"I'm Fine" is probably the most common lie.
The only response to β€œare you sarcastic?” Is β€œNo”
Flat earthers don’t spread rumors around, they spread rumors across.
People in their 60s have been around for 25% of U.S. history
The concept of earning a living implies that by default you don't deserve to be alive
Balls equate to being strong and pussy equates to being weak even though a flick in the balls can take you down but a pussy can get a who human out.
The sentence "You're not alone", depending on the context, can either be really inspiring or really chilling.
Pirates seem to be pretty chill about hiring people with disabilities.
Most exams just test your memory
As a teenager college students seem so adult, as a 30 year old college students are still like kids.
Fewer kids will experience the joy of finding random cash on the ground due to the prevalence of eletronic payments.
Misspeaking is when your brain autosuggests your speech
Texting is almost the same as email and yet it feels so much more personal.
Food allergies are when the body thinks that a certain of food is going to kill you, so to save you from being killed by the food it kills you before the food can
As a kid, adults were seen as carefree and cool, but as an adult, kids are seen as carefree and cool. It shows that life sucks as you experience it.
If you put metal in a microwave you have quite the show, but the insides of most microwaves are made of metal and don't cause fireworks
Have you realized that Apple stores don't actually have Windows. They just have walls made out of glass
When you meet someone new you unlock a new character for your dreams.
Exercise is pain insurance- you feel pain in small amounts temporarily so that you don’t feel as much pain in the future.