If reincarnation is real you could literally own a former person in dog/cat/pet form.
If you fake having Münchhausen syndrome to get medical attention, you are actually suffering from it
The reason teachers seem to notice immediately when you talk a little bit in class and not the jerks chatting on the back is because the teacher has probably already given up on trying to get them to pay attention, unlike with you, who they still believe can learn meaningful things from their class.
You either die or get to live long enough to see all the people you love die.
Computers are the only thing in the Universe that freeze as they get hot
Being cold is better than being hot because you can find ways to warm up, but when you are hot you just have to sit and live with it.
We can easily recognize basic clothing from a hundred years ago, but no one in Star Wars could recognize the clothing of the Jedi, who ruled the galaxy for 4,000 years, just a decade after their fall.
Drop a live lobster into boiling water, you're a chef. Do the same thing to a live cat and you're a monster.
The fake "x" button in mobile game ads is the greatest betrayal in someone's life
Sometimes an employee’s most impressive efforts for a company are when they are fixing a mistake they hope their boss never finds out about.
It's amazing that we live in such a world that clean drinking water is so readily available that we shit in it.
We can see the past but we can’t travel to it, we can’t see the future but we can travel to it
Instead of counting seconds with Mississippi, you could use Mothafucka
If you talk about how good of a person you are you're probably a piece of shit.
Those who demand respect are the same ones who fail to realise they aren’t getting any because they haven’t earned it.
If you look like your mum you are technically your dad's type
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