Every wooden piece of furniture in your house was alive at some point. Your kitchen table is a carcass.
Stunt men and extremely clumsy people are both really good at falling down stairs, but in totally different ways.
You can do everything right to live a safe life, yet all it takes is someone else making a stupid choice that can put your life at risk.
It's a good job our subconscious knows exactly the right amount to loosen our asshole, so that we can pass gas in our sleep without shitting ourselves.
There were probably cavemen who sacrificed their life for us to figure out which berries were poisonous and which ones were not
People who describe themselves in public forums as an “alpha male” are definitely not alpha males
Building IKEA furniture is Adult Legos but with more frustration and less reward
There's a lot of fear of being stuck in caves, and tight places if you're Immortal. Yet no one discusses the chilling fact of floating through space beyond the end of the universe.
Video games completely over exaggerate the usefulness and commonality of jumping.
In a few years, kids will have no idea why the Phone app icon has that weird shape on it
Being immortal would make getting stuck places (caves, sinkholes, wells, etc.) significantly more scary
Every day you go out in public you are an extra in the lives of everyone you come across.
A witch is considered as a evil person,but a wizard is considered as a wise and good person.
If the monster under your bed never hurt you, maybe it's there to protect you.
At some point someone said, "What are you going to do, kill me?" Then they actually got killed.
The moon is the only rock with a record of how many people have touched it.
If our phones told us that sounds too loud would damage the headphones instead of our ears, we would probably be more concerned