A year for an 84 year old is the same as a month for a 7 year old (Its the same fraction of their life).
If you do the same thing for 8 hours a day, that's madness, but if you get paid for it, then it's a job
It is acceptable for you to offer to watch a stranger's child for payment, but inappropriate to offer to do so for free.
The only person happy you ran through the red light and did not get caught is you
If Woody had died in Toy Story, Andy wouldn't have known any different.
People nowadays don't undertand the value of ice until there is no freezer
Future kids probably will associate cell phone addiction with old people.
It's funny how 250-500 ping is a nightmare to play with online despite our bodies functioning perfectly with that same latency.
Girls in real life tend to pretend they did not see your awkward boner or will completely ignore it. Girls in porn do the exact opposite.
The Green Lantern is the opposite of Superman. Superman is strengthened by yellow sunlight and weakened by green kryptonite, while the Green Lantern is strengthened by the green ring and weakened by yellow light.
In the future the robot dance move won’t make sense because automation will be fluid instead of choppy
It is a strange moment of sexual maturing when you realize which body parts you DON'T find attractive.
There's nothing quite like an automatic door that won't open to make you question your existence.
When you're wearing a T-shirt gravity helps you to wear it but when you're wearing a pant gravity is always trying to pull it down.
You know you're acclimated to a building when you can close the doors behind you with just barely enough force to close them all the way.
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