There’s nothing like individually wrapped candies to let you know exactly how many you’ve eaten.
Two grown adults calling each other "shithead" isn't that far off from two kindergarteners calling each other "poopyhead."
Mr. Fantastic and Elastigirl would either have the wildest or weirdest sex together
If we master space travel it’s inevitable that someone will make a real millennium falcon from Star Wars and the Enterprise from Star Trek.
You use math in the real world when helping your kid with their homework.
Since cats probably assume we can see in the dark, they probably think we’re kicking and stepping on them on purpose when we can’t spot them in a dark hallway or room.
Nothing's more stressful than trying to relax while everyone else around you is working.
A year for an 84 year old is the same as a month for a 7 year old (Its the same fraction of their life).
If you do the same thing for 8 hours a day, that's madness, but if you get paid for it, then it's a job
It is acceptable for you to offer to watch a stranger's child for payment, but inappropriate to offer to do so for free.
The only person happy you ran through the red light and did not get caught is you
If Woody had died in Toy Story, Andy wouldn't have known any different.
People nowadays don't undertand the value of ice until there is no freezer
Future kids probably will associate cell phone addiction with old people.
It's funny how 250-500 ping is a nightmare to play with online despite our bodies functioning perfectly with that same latency.
Girls in real life tend to pretend they did not see your awkward boner or will completely ignore it. Girls in porn do the exact opposite.
The Green Lantern is the opposite of Superman. Superman is strengthened by yellow sunlight and weakened by green kryptonite, while the Green Lantern is strengthened by the green ring and weakened by yellow light.
In the future the robot dance move won’t make sense because automation will be fluid instead of choppy