The average high schooler knows more about the world than the smartest people did 300 years ago

Our D.A.R.E. counselors probably said "yes" to drugs as teenagers.

Tall people never ask short people to get something close to the ground.

You think adults are so smart until you become one of them

“Shit” is a insult, a compliment, a noun, and an adjective.

The saxophone looks like a steam punk bong

Your birth certificate is your first participation reward.

If people are coloured white, black, brown, yellow, and red, then people need to be thinking less about how different we are, and more about how we were clearly meant to be the next team of Power Rangers!

A dick is technically the fountain of life

if everyone on earth died instantly, no one would care

Someone is the most average person on the planet

In Sales, the customer is always right. In Tech Support and Engineering, the customer is always wrong.

The world ending in 2021 seems way more believable than it ever did in 2012.

It must have taken men hours the remove the fifteen layers of clothing on their partner before sex in the 1800’s.

It is safe to assume ,that because he was mixing sugar and spice, the professor from the Power Puff Girls was trying to make curry and ended up with kids.

You’re neither the first nor last person to see your naked body

Maybe non-native speakers apologising for bad English isn't done because their English is actually bad. It's done because to really speak our language they know they have to add an unnecessary apology in there somewhere.

Car alarms are the modern boy who cried wolf. No one cares.

Humans have concluded that it is easier to colonize Mars than to deal with other humans on earth to make it better

If Wikipedia had a comment section, it'd be a biggest shitshow on the internet.

It is strange how we are all awarded a certificate for dying.