The hardest part of an Uno game is deciding on whose rules you play in.

Seeing an elderly person having fun is more heartwarming than seeing a young person having fun

Throughout the entire galaxy wood is probably more rare than diamonds

If gravity were to change by just the slightest amount, any athletic record would either become unbreakable or easy to beat, depending on which way it went.

People had to draw cards before they could draw cards

Considering sperm and eggs are made from the nutrients a body makes, at one point you could’ve been a cheese quesadilla

Members of an experienced military unit are remembered in history books as "battle-hardened veterans" if they win a battle, and "tired and weary troops" if they lose one.

Giving university scholarships to students who do a lot of volunteer work just benefits students from rich families who don't have to work for money.

"Going to town on that ass" was probably just another common expression long before it became sexual

The average high schooler knows more about the world than the smartest people did 300 years ago

Our D.A.R.E. counselors probably said "yes" to drugs as teenagers.

Tall people never ask short people to get something close to the ground.

You think adults are so smart until you become one of them

“Shit” is a insult, a compliment, a noun, and an adjective.

The saxophone looks like a steam punk bong

Your birth certificate is your first participation reward.

If people are coloured white, black, brown, yellow, and red, then people need to be thinking less about how different we are, and more about how we were clearly meant to be the next team of Power Rangers!

A dick is technically the fountain of life

if everyone on earth died instantly, no one would care

Someone is the most average person on the planet

In Sales, the customer is always right. In Tech Support and Engineering, the customer is always wrong.