News channels start by saying “Good Morning”, then proceed to tell us why it isn’t.
It’s super creepy that you spent 1/3 of your life willingly unconscious in a dark room.
If you get one leg cut off, your BMI goes way down, but if you get the other one cut off, your BMI goes way back up.
If you had telekinesis you could jerk off your friends until they came and they'd have no idea what was happening.
The number of people older than you is always shrinking, while the number of people younger than you only ever grows.
Old stories of people coming back from the dead could just be ancient civilizations not understanding what a coma was
There could be a moment in history when entire mankind blinked together, but no one noticed as everyone had their eyes closed.
If there was a medication that could 100% remove stupidity with zero negative side-effects, stupid people would refuse to take it.
Worst part about being a kid was knowing that adults were laughing at you but not understanding why
Conspiracy theoreticians are people who failed to understand science so they invented their own science to prove they are not dumb.
If you knew the exact day you were going to die, you would technically be invincible up until that point
The dislikes on YT on every video is a real life example that no one can make everyone happy.
"With all due respect" is the polite version if "listen here you little shit".
If kids actually never talked to strangers, they wouldn’t have any friends