If you add up every number in existence you would get 0

We do not check the refrigerator multiple times to find new food, we check to see if our standards have dropped enough to eat what was available.

Quick reminder that you are edible.

A bed is a charging dock for humans.

Pirates are always portrayed as gross, violent, dirty, and diseased drunkards, yet we sexualize them.

Dora never explores, we do the exploring for her

Finding someone equally as awkward as you can be really exciting.

The average amount of legs in the world is below 2

If prison is really about rehabilitation then there wouldn’t be a life sentence

Everyone talks about how much they would miss the sun as a vampire, but no one talks about how much it would suck to never eat garlic again

Having a phone charger that only works at a certain angle is more frustrating than just having a broken charger

a bus has 4 seats and an aisle in the middle, yet still fits in the same lane as a car

Some people treat retail & fast food workers how gamers treat NPCs.

If you sold cocaine, you’d know that 36 grams is too much sugar to be putting in soft drinks.

"I don't have cable TV" went from sounding poor to practical within ten years

People who have worked in retail or restaurant jobs are probably more skilled in deescalation than many police officers

Confidence is doing a cross word puzzle with a pen.

Flavored Seltzer water tastes like TV static mixed with someone yelling you the flavor from another room

Given the number of droids in Star Wars one of them has to be named WD-40.

You know a porn video is good when you still find it attractive after ejaculating.

"Eat shit and die" is either a very strong insult or a synopsis of life, depending on the commas