You always hear someone’s sense of humor described as “dry”, but you never hear it described as “wet”.
When talking via text you assume the person's tone in your head. More often than not, you're wrong about it.
K in Morse code is -.- which is the same face we make when someone replies to us with 'K'.
we are fine not existing before we are born, but are terrified of the same idea after we die.
We want people to RIP when they die but we don’t put them in the casket in their favorite bedtime position.
Because of the way schools work, if they got together they could manipulate common knowledge because, at the end of the day, it's what they teach you that's gonna be on the test, not necessarily the truth.
Sometimes when someone says “10 years ago” it still feels like that’s the mid 90s
We get mad at bugs and rodents for destroying our crops and structures, calling them things like “ pests” and “vermin”, yet we, as humans, have caused thousands of times more irreparable damage than they ever will. We are the real pests.
People are more careful driving a newly bought tv than their whole family in the car
If your significant other is bisexual, and they choose you, you've defeated twice as many genders worth of prospective partners than the average person.
Seeing an usually calm person being angry is scarier than seeing a person that is usually angry being angry.
If someone took a photo of themselves every day from 0 to 100 years old, we could watch a video of their entire life in a 10 minute and 8 second video at 60 frames per second.
Flat earthers would have believed in round earth if the earth was flat.
If singing to your plants will help them grow, that shows why the forest loves its birds.
Everyone says Satan is evil, but he only punishes bad people making him the fairest of all idols
For some reason, "You ain't shit" and "You are shit" are both perfectly good ways to insult someone.
The day we can control a computer with our thoughts is the same day we lose the last of our privacy.
During a game of spin the bottle a fat person is more likely to get kissed than a skinny person.
Watered down drinks tastes worse than both the original drink and water.