Shower Thoughts 🚿
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What’s annoying about following a student driver isn’t that they’re poor drivers, but that they follow traffic laws so rigidly.
Dogs prepare you for children, while cats train you for teenagers.
Social media turned from connecting people to dividing them
Procrastination is so selfish that you don't even care what your future self has to go through for that instant gratification.
As a child, going to bed before 9pm is a chore. As an adult, it’s a treat.
It’s a shame that almost all wiki article about a song doesn’t include its lyrics.
It’s fun being alone until being alone is the only option you have.
You can cheat on GTA and not make nearly as much money as Jeff Bezos makes in real life
“LOL” is by far the most popular lie told over text message
If magic was real it would just be a branch of science
If Transformers mimic vehicles to blend in, a beige Corolla or Ford F-150 would make more sense, instead of a yellow Camaro or semi truck.
You always hear someone’s sense of humor described as “dry”, but you never hear it described as “wet”.
When talking via text you assume the person's tone in your head. More often than not, you're wrong about it.
K in Morse code is -.- which is the same face we make when someone replies to us with 'K'.
we are fine not existing before we are born, but are terrified of the same idea after we die.
Life is much simpler before you understand why Dilbert is funny
We want people to RIP when they die but we don’t put them in the casket in their favorite bedtime position.
Wall-e merchandise goes completely against the movies message
Because of the way schools work, if they got together they could manipulate common knowledge because, at the end of the day, it's what they teach you that's gonna be on the test, not necessarily the truth.
Sometimes when someone says “10 years ago” it still feels like that’s the mid 90s
We get mad at bugs and rodents for destroying our crops and structures, calling them things like “ pests” and “vermin”, yet we, as humans, have caused thousands of times more irreparable damage than they ever will. We are the real pests.