Boomers and millennials are equally terrified by the future but for totally different reasons.
Your clothes let you know you're gaining weight quicker than your family or friends
There are many pornos that are good but will never be popular because the video has a shitty thumbnail.
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Half of the views of the song "Staying Alive" are probably people learning how to do CPR.
Lions are so badass, they became king of the jungle without even living there.
Due to Rules of Engagement and strict Court Martial it is effectively harder for a US Soldier to shoot at the enemy in active warzone then it is for Police Officers to shoot at unarmed civilians.
The protagonists of Jurassic park escaped the dinosaurs by driving, using their ancestors as fuel.
Depression comes from living in the past, Anxiety comes from living in the future
When you think of the age that "unlocks the most," a lot of people might think 18, or 21 or something. But turning 3 gives you access to a metric shitton of toys.
In elementary school you avoid writing complete sentences because it takes too long. In high school you go out of your way to right elaborately complete sentences in order to reach your word requirement as quickly as possible.
If you think you look ugly in glasses, it may just be because you can see your face better with them.
4th dimensional creatures can look at our buildings like blueprints, while 2nd dimensional ones can use our blueprints as buildings.
The first 'No homo' was probably said during a very awkward situation.
Drinking breast milk made for a baby animal is more socially acceptable than drinking milk for a baby human
What’s annoying about following a student driver isn’t that they’re poor drivers, but that they follow traffic laws so rigidly.
Procrastination is so selfish that you don't even care what your future self has to go through for that instant gratification.
As a child, going to bed before 9pm is a chore. As an adult, it’s a treat.