Every generation complains that the generation that came after it is worse, but they don’t accept any blame for having raised them the way they are.

We wouldn't drink a glass of water that had been standing all night in a glass, we'd change it for some fresh water that's been standing all night in a pipe.

Wet Dreams are porn that your brain makes for itself.

One day, your parents just stopped seeing you naked

The fact that there are no recruitment ads for horny milfs confirms that all those ads are bullshit

Toddlers have no idea how many times they’ve been saved from a trip to the ER or death.

Google is so smart. By making Chromebooks more accessible to schools, kids grow up using Google Suite which makes them more reluctant to switch to a competitor like Microsoft Office.

Whether a glass is half full or half empty entirely relies on the glass' previous state.

Toxic family is way way way worse than toxic friends, colleagues and strangers.

Humans are actually really inefficient, we take about 8 hours to charge for only 16 hours of use

In vampire movies they can only come out during the night because sunlight burns them, but the moon has no light of its own, it's just reflected sunlight

Someone randomly decides ghosts look like people in blankets and everyone just went along with it

If mosquitoes didn't leave itch and irritation after a bite, they could suck a whole lot of blood.

Dogs were taught through evolution that if you eat a human you get fed once, but if you suck up to a human and make it like you, you get fed for life.

Since coffee is a drug, Starbucks is a pharmacy that also sells snacks

Internet Explorer was so slow that it was able to delay its own death for like 10 years or so

If Santa Claus sees and hears everything we do, then isn’t it pointless to write a letter.

Some people on the internet go to great lengths to conceal their identity (throwaway accounts, blurred faces in photos, etc.), other people willingly post photos of their butthole.

Late stage laziness is re-washing your clean clothes because you don't feel like folding them up

You have been pushed through the genitals of both genders.

While you scroll down, you don't actually do it. You just change the colours of pixels.