Being "on your phone all day" went from sounding very sociable to very unsociable within the span of a decade. [link]
If immortality existed, discrimination would probably exist between people of different eras. [link]
Perhaps "common sense" is named not because it is common, but because it is the sense of "commoners", who are not properly educated. [link]
In the Bee Movie, all the male bees have buzz cuts and all the females have beehive haircuts. [link]
The most realistic part of Jurassic Park is that if it were real, people would absolutely accept the danger and go. [link]
Being with people who don't listen is lonelier than being alone. [link]
Prison inmates probably have better sleep schedules than most of us. [link]
The person that invented toast was just like "Damn that bread is good, cook it again" [link]
Smoking actually makes you cooler, since a dead body is colder than a living one [link]
The fancier a restaurant is, the more disappointing the food is when it’s in a takeout container. [link]
Humanity’s most impressive survival instinct is the instinct to pull your feet under your blanket to protect yourself from monsters. No one taught you. You never saw others do it. You just knew. We all just knew. [link]
From a Wookiee’s perspective Chewbacca is the handsome rogue and Han is the dumb sidekick communicating in animal noises [link]
People will trust a loaf of bread off the shelf with just a twist tie, but they insist on at least two layers of tamper-resistant seals for any product they put on that bread. [link]
You can argue with someone on the internet and then coincidentally meet them in person and be kind to them without either of you knowing at all. [link]
Everyone has a favorite stall in the restroom at work, but no one ever talks about it. [link]
If you drink 8,760,000,000,00 Five Hour Energy’s you will live till the sun dies [link]
In the Marvel Cinematic Universe, New York must have extremely high property insurance rates [link]
Cleaning vigorously before company arrives is probably the biggest normalized lie [link]
An unexpected benefit of being a picky eater as a kid is getting to unlock perfectly ordinary foods as an adult as if they were just invented. [link]