Saying you “buried a family member” is much nicer when you were at the beach that day.

If mirrors went to alternate dimensions, we wouldn’t know because if you would try to push on them, the other you would push back with the same force.

If Casinos require masks to be worn inside, that’ll really help people’s poker faces

99% percent of the world doesn't even know you exist

Watching a movie that you've already seen with someone who has not seen it is often more about watching their reaction rather than rewatching the movie itself

The very thought of trying to determine if you are high or not is the first indication that you are high.

Since Cinderella lost one slipper, they didn't actually fit her perfectly to begin with.

You can never miss a hi-five in the mirror

It's pretty regular to hear a son named after a father, but you rarely hear a daughter named after a mother.

If you send someone a message while they’re not online, you’re talking to their future self

The letter M by itself can be any emotion with the right tone

If you try to remember something, you actually just wait for your brain to give you that information

The two c’s in thicc depict a fat ass.

Staring into the sun is technically stargazing

Putting on dirty glasses is weird because you can see better but also worse

Fish never have to worry about tripping and falling

Scooby doo could technically give concent.

When a woman wears a scarf its normal but when a man wears one people assume hes either rich and possibly from New York or gay

Money may not buy happiness, but it sure does directly prevent countless reasons to be unhappy.

Wearing a undone belt feels way more naked that not wearing a belt at all.

Somebody on here probably has 365 different accounts and exclusively posts on cakedays