On the highway, the guy who whizzes past you is a dickhead, the guy who drives slower than you is a jerk, but the biggest annoyance is the guy that drives at the same speed and stays in your peripheral vision for while... weirdo!
Some hardcore open-world gamers must be more familiar with the in-game routes than the city they actually live.
If you see an attractive woman wearing glasses in an ad, you can be sure it’s an ad for glasses. Otherwise attractive women never wear glasses in any ads.
If you're ever caught naked, it might be a better idea to hide your face rather than your private parts.
When you are a kid, teenagers look like adults. When you are an adult, teenagers look like kids.
7 and 8 are both equally "in-between" 5 and 10, but 7 feels WAY more in-between than 8.
One day, the last “bop it” machine is going to go to sleep and never wake up again.
Saying you “buried a family member” is much nicer when you were at the beach that day.
If mirrors went to alternate dimensions, we wouldn’t know because if you would try to push on them, the other you would push back with the same force.
If Casinos require masks to be worn inside, that’ll really help people’s poker faces
Watching a movie that you've already seen with someone who has not seen it is often more about watching their reaction rather than rewatching the movie itself
The very thought of trying to determine if you are high or not is the first indication that you are high.
Since Cinderella lost one slipper, they didn't actually fit her perfectly to begin with.
It's pretty regular to hear a son named after a father, but you rarely hear a daughter named after a mother.
Forwarded from yemi🪐
If you send someone a message while they’re not online, you’re talking to their future self
If you try to remember something, you actually just wait for your brain to give you that information