Shower Thoughts 🚿
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Given how powerful and dangerous they are, it’s a shame no professional sports teams use the hippopotamus as their mascot
Using glass as an example of fragility is actually really unfair to glass. Glass is much harder than most rocks are, it's just the thin shapes we form it into that makes it fragile.
The worse you look in "before" photos, the better you look in "after" photos.
Telling someone "I want you to be happy" often makes them smile. Telling someone "I want you to smile" never makes them happy.
If you are colorblind your brain just failed a downloading/loading the texturepack.
Human girls with cat ears are cute, but cats with human ears are weird
If you give someone money for their birthday, it’s almost like you lost a bet with them on how long they would live.
If you specify the type of root and the type of beer in root beer, you get ginger ale.
Despite being a very distinctive flavour, vanilla has become synonymous with "plain".
Water is the default flavour
the opposite of 'lol' is 'cry in silence'
The guy who invented the eraser just rubbed a bunch of things on paper until it worked
People from our generation will most likely celebrate β€œnice 69th” birthday parties
The unrealistic expectation of a princess is not her hair, it's that she was able to keep her figure while being locked away in a tower for years.
If someone nowadays were to send a message in a bottle, it would probably just get mistaken for trash in the sea
You know you’re fucked when you google a problem and nothing comes up
Failing your download at 99% is more annoying than not being able to download at all.
The second drop of rain landing on your head is more reassuring than the first
At some point in history, there must have been the same amount of alive and dead people on Earth.
If someone says they made food with "a lot of love", it's butter. And garlic.
Samurai Jack is about a man who spends 50+ years doing side quests before beating the main story line.