Cats are like strippers, you are welcome to watch but touching part is tricky. [Original post]
Video games are addicting because you can actually make positive change in an entire world and it all makes sense, unlike the real world [Original post]
If billion dollar companies paid all of their employees well above the industry average they’d have more power because everyone would want to be employed by them. [Original post]
Anyone who thinks homeless people are lazy has never been homeless themselves. [Original post]
"Where are you" must be one of the least used sentences used in sign language [Original post]
So, if you are masturbating while thinking about someone. And that same someone is masturbating while thinking about you... it’s kind’ve like have spiritual sex. [Original post]
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If you made pizza in space you could put toppings on both sides of the dough [Original post]
Astronauts have probably dropped things due to them being used to zero G. [Original post]
when you laugh at your own joke it was either insanely funny or insanely bad [Original post]
If flowers are the sexual organs of plants, bees are technically molesters. [Original post]
In animal crossing. It doesn't matter that you are the only human in a place full of animals Because humans are animals. [Original post]
An exotic dancer in Poland is a stripper Pole on a stripper pole. [Original post]
If earholes were big enough people would propably try to stuck there dick in them. [Original post]
We aren't "discovering" anything when we uncover ancient ruins or artifacts of human history. Human civilization is remembering things that it collectively forgot. [Original post]
People work really hard to invent things to increase laziness. [Original post]
Dying in your sleep sounds peaceful unless you have a nightmare when you die [Original post]
If you go to the Harvard campus and google something you've studied at Harvard [Original post]
Getting a speeding ticket is the adult version of being told to 'slow down or you're going to get hurt' [Original post]
Up until a certain point of our history, we didn’t know that caterpillars and butterflies are the same creature. [Original post]
Any song written in dedication to an unsung hero is - in an instant - no longer about an unsung hero. [Original post]