Feeding seagulls laxatives and watching them defecate on people is one of the very few times when someone is actually doing something for shits and giggles

Someone, somewhere is currently listening to the last song they will ever hear in their entire life.

Extroverts assume everyone thinks like they do. Introverts assume they don't.

In Avatar the Last Airbender, if Aang had erectile dysfunction Katara could just bloodbend his dick up

There are probably some steamers/YouTubers who have made more money playing a game than the creators made selling the game.

Grocery stores need a website/app that allows shoppers to input their list and it outputs a map to follow in the store that eliminates back tracking.

The guy who created this community probably thought of it in his/her shower

Every James Bond has served the same queen.

There’s a fairly high chance that you’ve passed by people who have been in movies, but just didn’t recognize them because they were an extra

When a teacher grades you with an F, they just pay their respects for you being stupid.

If people hesitate from being in a relationship with flat earthers, that's natural selection cutting off stupidity from the gene pool

Since animals and plants are mostly made of water, the evolution of all life is really the story of planets developing oceans and then eventually watching those oceans get up and start walking around.

No matter what, pessimists are always either correct or they're pleasantly surprised

Since all of Deadpool's organs heal after damage. Deadpool definitely has an uncircumcised penis.

Parkour is the adult version of 'the floor is lava'.

Darth Vader force choked people because he was jealous they could breathe properly

If women’s chests were not required to be covered, there would not be as much lust towards them.

Shrödinger's cat is now 100% dead because he starved to death in that box while we're arguing about him

Most of us will never meet each other.

If chickens are modern time dinosaurs, and plastic is made out of oil which is made out of dinosaurs, then if you put dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets in a plastic container, you're storing dinosaur shaped dinosaurs in other dinosaurs.

With time, painful memories become less painful but embarrassing memories become more embarrassing.