The egg came way before chicken: fish, dinosaurs and other avian predecessors all hatched way before the chicken evolved as a species.

Spicy is the only taste your butt can detect.

Spider-man took getting bit by a spider pretty well considering that most people would freak out and start googling spider bites immediately after.

A person looks like an absolute savage if they eat a salad bare handed, but if you do the same with a chicken wing no one bats an eye.

R2D2 was so offensive they bleeped out every line he said

If we could read each others minds it would just make a loop.

Muffins are to cupcakes as smoothies are to milkshakes

If catgirls were real, they wouldn’t like you any more than normal girls do.

If the oceans produce most of the planted oxygen than why are we focusing on tree restoration instead of ocean restoration

The girl scouts have just morphed into a cookie selling organization that can legally exploit child labor

If humans spoon we talk about a big spoon and a small spoon, but only 2 identical spoons fit together perfectly

We have to add foot pedals to toilet lids like they have on trash cans.

Scooby Doo movies are great because you know the dog isn't going to die.

Someone has probably beaten an imaginary version of you in an argument while in the shower.

You know you're an addict when you stop doing it to feel good and instead do it to feel normal.

Being attracted to people who wear glasses is the complete opposite of what natural selection stands for.

Tofu and a dildo are both alternative meats

Bad puns make people cringe because they deal psychic damage.

Someone needs to invent a microwave which scans the barcode of your food and cooks it the way it's supposed to be cooked

It’s super easy to kill cancer, it’s not killing the patient that’s the tricky part.

The song "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus" is about Dad wearing a costume, but we perpetuate to children the idea that Mommy is a cheater instead.