We're attending funerals knowing damn well that they won't come to ours
Being a female werewolf must suck. They'd have to deal with "that time of the month," two times a month.
If essential oils were essential big pharma would have bought them all out and quadrupled the prices.
Showers are great because where else is it acceptable to piss on the floor whilst brushing your teeth
We are more likely to go onto page two on pornhub than page 2 of google
The only difference between being murdered and being assassinated is how important you are in the public eye
If a person is allergic to cats, they're probably allergic to lions too. Lion allergy. Sounds much cooler.
“Julius Ceaser has been dead for well over 40 years” is a correct statement even if it sounds wrong.
Dying really couldn't be that bad, so far no one has returned to complain.
Maybe the urinals were invented when a tall guy walked by a sink and thought "why not?".
If Batman really wanted to stop crime, he could invest that gadget-money into employment, infrastructure and social services to stop crime at its root cause.
If Mario jumped into a pool of coins they would just disappear and he would hit the ground
Every word in every language started out as gibberish until one person convinced enough people what they said was a real word
A psychiatrist is a human brain that’s learned about itself and then uses a meat puppet to talk to another brain’s meat puppet to explain how they function
Using an egg to help bread a chicken breast is probably one of the biggest flexes on an animal.