Shower Thoughts 🚿
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Every mammal that lives in the water has a layer of fat. This is to prevent the leaching of body heat into the water, because water really sucks down body heat. Therefore, if mermaids did exist, they'd be fat.
If you're 5"8, you're also 4"20.
pizza places deserve some credit for never making plastic packages
Accidentally closing out the music app when a good song is playing is the biggest vibe killer possible.
We invented plastic that basically lasts forever and decided to use it for single use disposable things.
It must be miserable having to be dependent on someone who’s lazy as fuck to take you outside at an unknown hour every time you gotta take a shit.
We advise young people to not accept food from strangers, but we advise them to giveaway food instead of money to strangers.
You could cause some serious chaos in the 1700s using only a laser pointer.
Movies will automatically age themselves as soon as you see what cellphones are used
Marrying a girl because you got her pregnant is the irl version of "you break it, you buy it"
Children with imaginary friends are creative, adults with imaginary friends are schizophrenic.
Being accused of constantly arguing is the hardest argument to win.
It is impossible to touch any reflection that isn't your own.
You know you're an adult when you care more about your parents' health than they do.
Dying young will make you forever young in the minds of everyone else.
Forwarded from The Big Bad Cat, BBC for short, Quantum
What makes Raid: Shadow Legends the most ambitious game in the world isn't its Gameplay, but its marketing campaign.
Half an inch doesn’t seem like much until you sit down on a toilet with the seat up.
Technically you have never lost a fight against a dragon
It's weird that people celebrate the 31st December worldwide but generally ignore 29th February even though it happens only once every 4 years
It can take over 30 minutes to find the 'right' position to fall asleep, yet once you're sleeping positions don't matter anymore.
If you stand back to back with someone, you're facing them with the longest possible distance between you and them