Lightsabers actually make really good peacekeeping weapons since it allows jedi to disarm opponents through amputation without having to worry about the victim dying of blood loss since the wounds are immediately cauterize.
Millions of women all over the world are waking up pregnant this morning.
The most unrealistic thing about Toy Story isn't that toys come to life, it's that a slinky dog has survived more than a week in a kid's room without becoming a tangled mess.
Anyone who says “there is no wrong way to load the dishwasher” obviously is not married.
Running a half-marathon and running half of a marathon are looked at very differently.
North Korea's citizens must see the most spectacular view of the night sky.
The Xbox ring of death was caused by the Xbox overheating meaning that the Xbox was working it’s self to death to make you happy.
Porn is the only genre of video in which it is deemed acceptable to have spoilers in the title.
If the Ghostbusters died and became ghosts, they'd probably be STUPIDLY difficult to catch.
Joe Rogan probably decided early in his career to shave his head rather than fighting hair-loss to avoid earning the nickname “Joe Rogaine”
Instead of giving serial killers cool nicknames like "the night stalker" etc that glorify and inspire future weirdos , give them nicknames like "the googley-eyed wanker".
Every mammal that lives in the water has a layer of fat. This is to prevent the leaching of body heat into the water, because water really sucks down body heat. Therefore, if mermaids did exist, they'd be fat.
Accidentally closing out the music app when a good song is playing is the biggest vibe killer possible.
We invented plastic that basically lasts forever and decided to use it for single use disposable things.
It must be miserable having to be dependent on someone who’s lazy as fuck to take you outside at an unknown hour every time you gotta take a shit.
We advise young people to not accept food from strangers, but we advise them to giveaway food instead of money to strangers.
You could cause some serious chaos in the 1700s using only a laser pointer.
Movies will automatically age themselves as soon as you see what cellphones are used