Teachers are the most famous non-famous people you'll know

In video games the fatter the enemy, the more HP they have. In real life it's the opposite.

Elastigirl can probably also stretch her teeth

Before the invention of phones the question "Where are you?" Must have been very seldom spoken.

3:03:03 AM 3rd March 2022 will be the third second of the third minute of the third hour of the third day of the third month of the third year of the third decade of the third millennium on the third planet.

It’s funny that advertisers have not realized that their redundant ads only drive people to hate their product or service, making everyone who sees the add much less likely to actually buy what they are selling.

Nobody knows what an entire lifetime of looking at smartphone screens will do to the human brain, eyes, and cognitive development, but our generation will be the first focus group to provide those results and data for future generations.

During doggy style one min technically lasts 7 min.

Alcohol companies never show drunk people in their ads

Most people dressing up for dates want to be seen in nice clothes just to improve the chances of being seen in no clothes.

This by far was the longest January of all time. What the fuck

We all think of Gordon Ramsay as an extremely picky food critic/chef but if your life's work was cooking and you saw a narcissistic restaurant manager breaking health code violations and making horrible food, you'd be pretty angry too.

Part of growing up is realizing everyone is an asshole including yourself

No matter how bad things got Velma never got contacts.

Someday, someone will die in a self-driving car and it will just keep driving

If Elvis were alive today he’d be screaming in his coffin.

Cats and dogs are the real winners of evolution. They befriended us intelligent humans and used their cuteness to get free food, free shelter, have no job, and get away with anything.

Noah musst have really trusted those two termites that were on the arc.

As a ghost, the first thing seen after death is an earth traveling away from you at a speed of 67,000 mph due to the lack of mass that would allow the earths gravity to pull you with it.

Traffic into Hell must be much busier than Heaven since it has a highway instead of a stairway.

Strutting with your hands behind your back and whistling was originally created as a way to seem unsuspicious, then it was a way of telling if someone was acting suspicious, now it is a way of playing on the irony of something designed to look unsuspicious actually looking very suspicious.