Every minute the number of people who are older than you gets smaller and smaller

People are paranoid about having an Alexa or Google device listening in on them, but have no problem with being attached to their smartphone.

Nobody would touch something someone masturbated with, no matter how you clean it. but every hand you shake with has been used to masturbate with

You don't fully appreciate Pac-Man until, you too, are desperately trying to find the right pill that make the murder ghosts go away for a while.

The offspring of a centaur and a mermaid has a 25% chance of being either a seahorse or a human.

Scrolling past porn videos is exactly like swiping left on Tinder but singleplayer

In today’s lingo, being “down” for something is the same thing as being “up” for it.

You never really see people yawn or sneeze in any movies. It'd probably add some realism

The scariest Fireworks are the ones that don't explode.

During sex, men are concentrating on holding off orgasm while women are focusing on achieving it.

It is rather unfortunate that humans failed to find two different symbols for the letter O and the number 0.

The trick isn't in parking close to the store, but close to the cart return

There are probably a ton of kids today that have no idea that computer mice used to have rubber balls instead of optical sensors

April 1st seems to be the only day of the year everyone shows scepticism towards everything they read on the internet

Every time a rocket is launched into space. The earth slightly reduces in weight.

At some point in your life, someone is gonna snap a photo of you, maybe today, and you won’t think twice about it... and that will be the photo they use at your funeral.

New Yorkers in the Marvel universe must have major PTSD.

We may be missing out on better actors or entertainers in general because they were deemed too unattractive to be cast for a part.

Dogs make it acceptable for adults to play like children.

People who say that money doesn't buy happiness are unknowingly broadcasting that they've never grown up poor or struggled with money in general.

When you describe the physical appearance of both, a unicorn sounds way more realistic than a platypus.