People who claim to "Hate Gays" spend a lot more time thinking about gay sex than the average straight person
Being able to read minds would actually suck since with most people you'd just hear the same 5 seconds of a song playing on loop
As an adult, there is nothing stopping you from turning your house into a giant blanket fort at will.
It is insane that we can have that terrifying moment of realization that we are guaranteed going to die one day and begin to have a panic attack, but then two minutes later be enraged that the bag of chips we just opened was 60% air.
67 ° looks like a dude in a wheelchair bending over to pick something up.
A dating app that matches you by your Spotify library would probably work better than any dating app.
Anything within arm's length will be referred to as Here when asked where it is. Anything outside of arm's length is There.
When a baby isn’t crying or laughing they look like they’re having a Vietnam flashback
If a would-be murder victim survives their injuries, the would-be killer is put in jail for less time than a successful killer, despite representing exactly the same threat to the public.
The new meaning for LOL can be laughing on-line, since you're not laughing out loud.
Walking across a television for an insect must be comparable to an acid trip or some sort of insane experience.
Forwarded from Hilina
Every minute the number of people who are older than you gets smaller and smaller
People are paranoid about having an Alexa or Google device listening in on them, but have no problem with being attached to their smartphone.
Nobody would touch something someone masturbated with, no matter how you clean it. but every hand you shake with has been used to masturbate with
You don't fully appreciate Pac-Man until, you too, are desperately trying to find the right pill that make the murder ghosts go away for a while.