Home is where you know exactly how far to turn the knob to get a perfect temperature shower
The fact the PM (private message) has been replaced with DM (direct message) is a good sign of the degradation of privacy standards
Every time you hear a “I walked into a bar” joke you imagine the same bar every time.
The year 2359 will be the last year the time will match the year by hours
A lot of energy was wasted in Monsters, Inc. by not transporting the doors sideways to reduce drag.
Scar didn't murder Mufasa. It's a cats natural instinct to push things off ledges
You know you are in a historical neighborhood when most buildings look like they could be climbed in Assassin's Creed.
In the spiderverse there is probably a spider man who fears himself because of arachnophobia
Wut-In-Tarnation is really What-In-The-Entire-Nation with southern accent
Country songs by men are about how men treat women right and country songs by women are about how men treat women poorly.
People are obsessed with eternity of death, but doesn't care about the eternity they just spent not being born yet.
You know you've made it in life when all your bills are paid with auto-pay
Humans yelling at football on TV is the same as dogs barking at other dogs on TV.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is the original "bitches be crazy"
When you are cooking with garlic, people always tell you how great it smells, but if you had a garlic candle, people would find that weird and offensive.
When smoking cannabis using a bong, you are combining fire, water, earth and wind for the purpose of relaxation.