Hearing people say good things about you behind your back is probably the greatest compliment and acknowledgement of hard work a person can get.
A soldier on the battlefield has more in common with the guy he’s fighting than the guy who sent him there.
Our body consists of 4 major glitches, hitting our funny bone, rubbing our eyes too hard, having something cold touch your 2 front teeth, and standing up too fast.
Christmas movies always seem to neglect the fact that the North Pole is dark 24 hours a day this time of year.
Death isn't coming for us. It's standing still at the finish line and we're steadily marching right towards it.
The Grinch was just a regular adult who hated loud noises and annoying people.
When you think about it, the Bat Signal was the first cloud based push notification.
The moral of the tortoise and the hare isn’t slow and steady wins the race, it’s don’t be cocky and take a nap while doing something important
When you play the piano you’re hitting a harp with a bunch of little hammers.
Forwarded from Corvus Blackthorne
Every corpse on Mt. Everest was once an extremely motivated person.
A rock is a better ranged weapon than a throwing knife for most people.
We don't play video games in our free time, we replace our lowest important task with video games.
Maybe dogs are afraid of vacuum cleaners because they’re intimidated by anything that can do one continuous woof
Between calling somebody "sour," "salty," and "basic," our insults span the entirety of the pH scale.
Someone will experience the pain of stepping on a lego for the first time today.
Right at this moment, millions of children are waking up and realizing Santa brought the presents they found at the house already and putting 2 & 2 together.