The only thing stopping people from a car crash is a painted line and the agreement not to play bumper cars

A Christmas Carol is a heartwarming tale about how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.

You've probably had some deadly diseases before, but your immune system killed them off before you knew.

When someone says "Asian," you almost never picture an Indian even though Indians are Asians.

Due to low light pollution North Korea is probably one of the better places to go stargazing.

You never truly realize how important eyebrows are until you see a face without them.

Missed Laser shots in star wars
Might hit a space ship light years away

When you get ash on white clothes it shows up dark, but when you get ash on dark clothes it shows up white.

The man who started saying "after you" to women probably just wanted an excuse to see their ass as they walk

In about 1,000 years people will talk about us like we talk about cavemen. "The early species of humans were modestly advanced, forming little internet tribes and communities where they could collectively confirm their bias and collectively bash their enemy"

A fox is an animal running cat software on a dog

You can tell a lot about an organisation by the quality of the toilet paper they provide for their employees

Dwayne Johnson is a sex symbol but isn’t sexualized. Like he is depicted as sexy but is not depicted as sexual. He’s like an Asexual sex symbol.

While Mr.Krabs may be a cheapstake, he single handedly owns the most popular restaurant with only 2 employees, Defends it 24/7 WHILE raising a teenager

The iOS calculator app has the same color scheme as pornhub

People with chronic illnesses are often accused of faking being sick, when they actually more often are faking being well.

If you’ve been on a roller coaster ride that takes pictures, there’s a chance that you’re on a picture in somebody’s house.

Your dog probably thinks you're a really good hunter

The most unrealistic thing about the Star Wars prequels is the fact that Padme went for Anaken when Ewan McGregor existed

Dracula has his hair slicked back because that’s the easiest hairstyle to do without a reflection in the mirror.

Having morning wood and simultaneously an intense need to urinate is a cruel biological joke.