People always complain about having to get up early for the school bus, but nobody thinks about how early the bus driver has to get up
A casino kicking someone out for card counting is the most accepted form of rage quitting because an opponent is good at the game.
The first dog to pee on Mars would temporarily be the dog lord of a whole planet
If we shot out all the flat-earthers into space, we could get rid of a lot of stupid people at once and prove our point once and for all
You get angry with your alarm clock when it wakes you up and you get angry with your alarm clock when it does not wake you up.
A lot of people get respected only due to their age and not because they deserve it.
It was totally acceptable to kick a pregnant woman when you were a fetus. It was celebrated, in fact.
LOL as gone from meaning "Laughing out loud" to "this comment isn't hostile"
If you are offered half a pyramid, and you choose the top half, you get a whole pyramid, not a half.
“Dropping the kids off at the pool” is often used to describe taking a dump when in reality it more accurately describes ejaculating into the toilet.
Quidditch at Hogwarts is pay to win, due to the enormous difference in broom quality and the wealth gap between students
We post our weird/dumb thoughts here because no one in real life cares to hear them, but everyone on the internet cares for some reason.
When someone mispells a word we look at the keyboard to see how close the incorrect letter is from the correct to assess what level of pardon we will grant
In order to see less pixels on a screen we have to add more pixels to it
There is a very real possibility that you may have got cancer and your body fought it off on it's own and you will never know.
If you live to be 1460 years old, you'll actually be 1461 years old, because you'll have lived an entire year's worth of february29th's (leap years)