Every commercial that tells kids "grown-ups are too stupid to get why it's cool!" was written by an adult manipulating stupid children.

Going to the gym and seeing all those people lift the highest weights around like it's nothing while you're still new is kind of like being in an MMO town hub after you just finished the tutorial and seeing all the max level people flex their end-game gear

If aliens see footage of human speech, they might think that "um" is a word in the human language.

Peeling off stickers can be either the most satisfying feeling or the most frustrating task, depending on the sticker

Spring is the season where you always pick the wrong jacket.

Introverts are NPCs, we don't talk to you unless you talk to us first.

At the beginning of Naruto, the three main characters existed in a “love square.” Naruto loves Sakura, Sakura loves Sasuke, Sasuke loves nobody, and nobody loves Naruto.

Ads in mobile games are all just the mini game "where is the x going to pop up"

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

Due to inflation, ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?’ becomes cheaper to produce every year

If sharks were drawn to pee instead of blood, the number of attacks per year would skyrocket.

It’s strange that guys think a vagina is loose from being with 50 different men but wouldn’t get looser from fucking the same man 50 times.

The voice in your head has grown up with you and at one point was a child.

It's unprofessional if you don't give your employer two weeks' notice that you're quitting, but it's perfectly okay for your employer to fire you without warning and for no reason.

The only practical use for a penny is to prevent you from getting more pennies.

An app that removes Nicki Minaj and Cardi B from songs they are featured in would make a lot of money.

You never realize how far down you scroll until you accidentally reload the page

If emotional scars showed the way physical scars do, people would probably take each other's personal pain and struggles more seriously.

If we could convince a few key celebrities that greenhouse gases cause autism, we might get somewhere

It is funny how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as if it might be something else, like a penguin.

Ads that interrupt whatever a person is doing probably make that person less inclined to buy the product.