Some people may think they won an internet argument, never to know their adversary died before having a chance to respond.

Kids can’t wait to grow up and Adults wish to become young again. College students however don’t want either and wish to cease being.

If you take a nude picture of yourself 1 minute before you turn 18, in a minute you will be an adult in possession of underage pornographic content.

Everything in this universe is either a duck, or not a duck.

Plants are farming us. They give us oxygen and then they consume us when we decompose.

If banks made 6 billion dollars from overdraft fees last year, then banks made 6 billion off of people who don't have money.

If a heater catches on fire, it is still technically doing its job.

Somebody in the 1800s saw a glass bottle and thought, “You know what would go great in there? An entire fucking ship.”

If auto-correct were to prank people with incorrect spellings on April 1st, most people wouldn't even know the difference.

None of Aladdin happened! It was all a tale spun by that merchant to sell you his piece of shit lamp!

Every commercial that tells kids "grown-ups are too stupid to get why it's cool!" was written by an adult manipulating stupid children.

Going to the gym and seeing all those people lift the highest weights around like it's nothing while you're still new is kind of like being in an MMO town hub after you just finished the tutorial and seeing all the max level people flex their end-game gear

If aliens see footage of human speech, they might think that "um" is a word in the human language.

Peeling off stickers can be either the most satisfying feeling or the most frustrating task, depending on the sticker

Spring is the season where you always pick the wrong jacket.

Introverts are NPCs, we don't talk to you unless you talk to us first.

At the beginning of Naruto, the three main characters existed in a “love square.” Naruto loves Sakura, Sakura loves Sasuke, Sasuke loves nobody, and nobody loves Naruto.

Ads in mobile games are all just the mini game "where is the x going to pop up"

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side.

Due to inflation, ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?’ becomes cheaper to produce every year

If sharks were drawn to pee instead of blood, the number of attacks per year would skyrocket.