✨BODY

As can be seen, the highest number of employees was recorded in 1851, with 477,000 people—specifically, 287,100 males and 190,000 females—at a time when only 225 factories existed.

🔰 Detailed Corrections:

"the most number of employees" → "the highest number of employees" (more natural and correct)

"had been observed" → "was recorded" (simpler and clearer in this context)

Comma after "As can be seen" — ✅ Required after introductory phrases

Numbers formatted properly — "477 1000" → "477,000", etc.

"spasificly" → "specifically" — spelling correction

"peopele" → "people" — spelling correction

"only when 225 factories existed" → "at a time when only 225 factories existed" — smoother and more formal phrasing


______________________

✨In 1861, while the number of factories increased by only 2, the total number of workers experienced a significant decline of over 186,000 individuals; notably, only one-sixth of this reduction was among women.

🔰Corrections and Improvements:

"factories extended solely by 2" → "the number of factories increased by only 2" – more accurate phrasing.

"unusually" – omitted because the sentence is clearer without it; "notably" is used later instead.

"significatn" → "significant" – spelling correction.

"over 186 individuals" → "over 186,000 individuals" – likely a missing “thousand,” based on context.

"only one sixth part of reduction happened with women" → "only one-sixth of this reduction was among women" – improved grammar and flow.

Punctuation – added a semicolon to correctly join two independent clauses and used a hyphen in "one-sixth."

_________________

✨It is easy to see that, although the number of factories increased to 622 in 1871 and then to 721 in 1881, the number of employees dropped to 140,123, with a noticeable decrease in female workers—exactly 10,000 fewer in 1871. This opposite trend between the number of factories and employees continued in 1881 as well.

🔰Corrections and Improvements:

"regardless factories reached..." → "although the number of factories increased..." – more natural and accurate structure.

Comma after introductory phrase: "It is easy to see that,"

"employees went down to 140 123 workers" → "the number of employees dropped to 140,123" – improved clarity and formatting of the number.

"noticeable decrease in the number of female workers, exacty 10 000" → "noticeable decrease in female workers—exactly 10,000 fewer" – hyphen used for interruption; spelling corrected ("exacty" → "exactly").

"oppostion" → "opposite trend" – spelling and clarity.

"number of worker and eployees" → "number of factories and employees" – likely what you meant by "opposition."

___________________________

✨However, during the last two decades, the number of factories also showed a slight decline, decreasing by 96 and reaching its lowest point of 600 factories in 1901, when the number of employees also fell to 61,000.


🔰Corrections and Improvements:

Comma after "However" – required after introductory transition.

"factories also showed a slight decline with 96" → "showed a slight decline, decreasing by 96" – clearer expression of the numerical change.

"reached its lowest point with 600 factories" → "reaching its lowest point of 600 factories" – smoother phrasing.

"went down to 61 000 people" → "fell to 61,000" – more concise and formatted properly.

_________________________

✨The smallest gap between the number of male and female workers was recorded in 1901, with a difference of just 1,000.

🔰Corrections and Improvements:

"nummber" → "number" – spelling correction.

"had recorded" → "was recorded" – correct past tense form.

Reordered the sentence for clarity and fluency.

"with 1000" → "with a difference of just 1,000" – more precise and formal.

✨INTRODUCTION:

The chart accurately illustrates how many male and female employees worked in factories in Germany at the beginning of each decade from 1851 to 1901. Overall, although the number of factories increased during the first four decades and then declined in the remaining period, the total number of workers consistently decreased over time. Notably, male employees outnumbered female employees throughout the period, except in one year.

🔰Corrections made:

"accurately illustrates" (adverb + verb)

"acurately" → "accurately" (spelling)

"femal" → "female" (spelling)

"German" → "Germany" (country name as a noun, not an adjective)

"decades" → "decade" (use singular because "each" refers to individual decades)

"saw an increase" → "increased" (more concise)

"early four decades" → "first four decades" (more natural phrasing)

"decrease during the rest of time" → "declined in the remaining period"

"total amount of workers" → "total number of workers" (use “number” for countable nouns like workers)

"always went down within a given period of time" → "consistently decreased over time"

"male employees were more than female ones" → "male employees outnumbered female employees" (clearer and more formal)

"except one year" → except in one year (be careful with prepositions)

______________________________________________

Introduction qolib ketgan ekan )

Huge congratulations to Timur Bek for achieving a 6.5 on the IELTS!

Your hard work and dedication have paid off — this is a great milestone on your journey.
Keep aiming higher and chasing your goals!

#IELTS #Success #ProudMoment

✨ TONGI GURUH

🔰 BEGINNER

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Online darslar sóragalar uchun tez orada boshlaymiz

Ertaga soat 10 da birinchi 'demo' dars bólib ótadi

Bugun kechga online tarzda óqishnin hoxlovchilar bilan individual suhbat uyushtiraman.

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