of course it's fine to snap at me at every single thing I said wrong

of course it's completely fine that I broke down multiple times while trying to ask my mom to not be as harsh to me

on my fucking birthday

Yeah, I've fucked up my own life.

And I slowly keep on fucking it up even further.

Because I'm a weak piece of shit.

Because I don't do the things I'm supposed to because I'm lazy.

I don't fucking know how to relieve stress.

The only thing I can reasonably do is just sit and scream here and it's just not working.

Talking does not work, it just stresses me out even further because I get met with constant criticism about things that are true but completely irrelevant

She never fucking apologized. For anything. She's so fucking cold and I can tell that she's just disappointed

(The above is mostly about my mom)

I'm so fucking tired. I just want to rest. I can't fucking do this any longer.

She's not going to fucking help me do things around the house purely out of spite. She said it herself. And every time I don't make my bed or wash all the dishes I get the same condescending tone

And then she fucking wonders why I don't want to go anywhere with her.

I want to stay home. I don't want to interact with people.

I don't fucking know what to do. Everything I attempt to do or say makes it even worse

Why even fucking bother at that point

She always told me that I don't ever talk to her and.. I just don't fucking get it.

Maybe if you want to talk to me.. don't snap at me at the smallest fucking thing?

And, you know.. actually talk to me. I can't talk to you if there's nothing to discuss.