I wanna say that this is the worst birthday yet but I don't even remember the rest of them

I need to wake up in <4 hours and I'm just sitting here unable to fall asleep

It's already so fucking bright outside.

My mom almost fucking trashed the router today because of an argument

It was so fucking stupid, too

I kept talking to her about what I've been trying to say for months but it's like she's not listening

This fucking condescending tone.

Maybe she's right and I'm just an infantile, lazy piece of shit.

Nah, that's completely true, because that's what the psychologist said

Of course, he's a professional. I have no reason not to trust him.

It's all my fault that I can't fucking tell that I'm completely burned out and exhausted

It's just my character that I can't fucking find anything in my life that I can find fun

It's completely normal and totally fine to not have any feelings for anything happening close to you whatsoever

It's completely acceptable to not be able to figure out why the fuck people I thought I could trust are freaking out over me speaking

I'm fucking paranoid to talk. I don't want to lose any more friends now that I've lost two and can't fucking speak to my mom without being stressed the fuck out

Of course it's just my character, nothing else, I'm just an insensitive asshole.

of course it's all my fault and I need to hear about it every day

of course it's fine to scream at me when I haven't done something because I'm exhausted

of course what I am doing is completely and utterly pointless

of course I can survive without the emotional support of my friends, alone, on my own