Ba’zan hamma narsa yo‘qolib ketgandek tuyuladi. Ammo aynan o‘sha paytda hayot kim ekaningni eslatadi.

Ba’zan sizda ham shunday bo‘ladimi — hamma narsa yo‘qolib ketayotgandek tuyuladi. Iching bo‘m-bo‘sh, hech narsaga qiziqishing qolmaydi. Umid ham sekin o‘chayotgandek…
Lekin aynan o‘sha paytda, kutilmaganda, mitti narsalar keladi. Juda oddiy, juda kichik. Ammo ular yuzingga yana tabassum qaytaradi. Va sen tushunasan: ularning beradigan quvonchi o‘ylaganimizdan ham katta ekan.
Buni ba’zilar “bolalarcha” deydi. Lekin odamlarning gaplari kimga qiziq, to‘g‘rimi? Axir bu baxt ularga emas, menga keladi-ku. Agar biz har kim nima dedi, deb yashaganimizda, balki bu hayotda umuman bo‘lmasdik ham.
Biz hayotga bir marta kelamiz. Me’yor borligini bilamiz, albatta. Lekin bu hayotda odamlar nima deydi, deb o‘z orzularimdan voz kechish niyatim yo‘q.
Meni “qiz bola” deb, har qadamimga taqiq qo‘yish — bu mantiqsizlik.
Qiz bola grant yutsa bo‘ladi, lekin o‘qimasligi kerak emish.
Qiz bola ko‘p til o‘rgansa mayli, lekin ko‘p gapirmasin emish.
Qiz bola o‘qigan bo‘lishi kerak, lekin doim jim tursin emish.
Qiz bola umuman gapirmasin, faqat “kerakli joyda” tilga kirsin emish.
Bu nimasi o‘zi?!
O‘g‘il bolada qanday maqsad bo‘lsa, qiz bolada ham shunday orzu, niyat, yo‘l bor.
Va men o‘sha yo‘ldan yurishdan hech qachon uyalmayman. Hali ham davom etaman

I didn’t walk away because I stopped loving them.
I walked away because I finally chose myself.

Barini yangidan boshlash — or the same dream, but sharper, braver, more honest. I chose the second. Because 2025 didn’t come to pet me — it came to teach me. 2025 was not gentle. It was a lesson year. A year where I walked roads with people close to my heart, yet those roads were so far apart that even if we met, we wouldn’t recognize each other anymore. Especially the last months…they were heavy.
The kind of heavy that sits on your chest at night and asks quiet, dangerous questions.
But even in those days — there were people who held me up without knowing they were saving me.
Teaching…people think it’s just a job. But it’s not. Teaching is running away from darkness without realizing it, and suddenly finding yourself surrounded by small, warm souls — and giving them everything you’ve learned, everything you are. I don’t just miss HBK learning center. I miss the people. I miss the teachers, yes — but more than that, I miss the little family I built without meaning to. Everyone I taught became a part of me. A small family. My family. And the last months with them…they were beautiful. I say this honestly. Their laughter. Their growth. Their last words to me — yes, I cried reading them. I didn’t hide it. Those tears were real.
Today, I made a decision that is right for me. And on one side, I feel light — Alhamdulillah. Like a breath I’ve been holding too long finally escaped. But on the other side…I miss them. So much. In a way that doesn’t make noise, but hurts deeply.

In the end, I chose myself. And yes — it hurt. It still does. But my heart is calm. Sometimes choosing yourself means walking away from people you love without loving them any less. Whatever happens — may it be for the best.

Men hozir videodars yozib oʻtirganimda hayolimdan shu fikr oʻtyapti:

Nega hozirgi odamlar bunchalik darajada dangasa bo‘lib qolishdi?
Like… seriously, why?
Hozir ustozlar hamma narsani tayyorlab beradi. Qayerda o‘qish kerak — ko‘rsatadi. Qanday qilish kerak — tushuntiradi. Vazifa qaysi kitobning qaysi betida — highlight qilib beradi. Ba’zida faqat bitta narsa qoladi: o‘quvchi nafas olsin xolos.

Shunga qaramay, yana savol:
“Ustoz, qaysi bet edi?”
“Ustoz, nimani qilish kerak?”
“Ustoz, bu qiyin emasmi?”

Ochiq qilib aytaman: chaynab berilgan narsani ham yutolmayapmiz. And that’s impressive — in the worst way.
Muammo bilimda emas. Muammo resursda ham emas. Hamma narsa bor: internet, video, izoh, reminder.
Yetishmayotgani bitta — harakat. Hozir ko‘pchilik natijani xohlaydi, lekin jarayonga allergiyasi bor.

O‘rganishni emas, tayyor javobni sevadi. Mehnatni emas, certificate’ni. Eng qizig‘i — hamma “motivatsiya yo‘q” deydi. Lekin motivatsiya yo‘q emas, intizom yo‘q. And discipline doesn’t feel aesthetic, so no one wants it.
Oldin odamlar qidirardi. Hozir esa “link tashlab yuboring” deydi. Oldin o‘ylashardi. Hozir “short qilib ayting” deyishadi. Miya esa sekin-asta power-saving mode’ga o‘tyapti.
Bu ustozning aybi emas. Bu tizimning hammasi emas. Bu — qulaylikka haddan ortiq o‘rganib qolgan ongning natijasi. Chunki haqiqat shunaqa: hayot hech kimga chaynab bermaydi. Imtihon ham. Real world ham.

Va oxir-oqibat,
yutishni bilmagan odam
och qoladi.

Love?
No thanks — I’m choosing peace and uninterrupted sleep.

Sevgi o‘zi nima?
Honestly… what even is love? Menga sevgi kerak emas. Like — no, thank you. Men buyurtma bermaganman. Return policy bormi o‘zi?
Sevgi deyishadi…uyquni buzadi, ishtahani o‘ldiradi, miyani drama-rejimga qo‘yadi. And for what? Bir “seen” bilan yurakni ezish uchunmi?
Love comes like: “I’ll heal you.”
Keyin esa: emotionally unavailable bo‘lib chiqadi. Classic. Menga tinchlik kerak. Peace. Routine. Sleep without overthinking. Men sevgi emas, barqaror Wi-Fi xohlayman.
Sevgi bo‘lsa ham — low volume, please. No shouting. No mind games. No “let’s talk” at 1 a.m. Agar sevgi bo‘lsa, let it be healthy. If not — I’m good. Men o‘zim bilan dating qilyapman hozir. Exclusive. Sevgi? Cute concept. Risky investment. Right now — not in my budget.

when I'm trying to go to sleep but then I think and I think and I think...

If your “self-love” doesn’t hurt a little — you’re just lying to yourself.

O‘zini sevish o‘zi nima ? Let’s not romanticize it.
Bu qimmat kremmi? Skincare qilib, “healing era” deb post tashlashmi? Yangi kiyimlar, mirror pic, “I deserve this” degan captions?
Relax.
Bu o‘zini sevish emas — bu distraction.
O‘zini sevish — yoqimli emas.
It doesn’t look cute. It looks like telling yourself things you don’t want to hear.
Bu — o‘zingni uyg‘otish. Bahona qilayotganingda ham. Yotib qolmoqchi bo‘lganingda ham.
“Charchadim” degan gapni har safar karta sifatida ishlatmaslik.
O‘zini sevish — hammani tushunib, o‘zingni ham unutmaslik. Hammani xursand qilib, o‘zingni yo‘qotmaslik. It’s unfollowing people who make you feel small. It’s not replying just because you’re bored.
It’s choosing silence over pointless conversations.
O‘zini sevish — arzon dopamin'lardan chiqish. Late nights, empty talks, fake validation.
Hammasi o‘sha — vaqtni o‘g‘irlaydigan narsalar.
Bu — intizom. Zero aesthetic. Zero applause. Faqat natija. Va eng achinarlisi — ko‘pchilik o‘zini sevaman deydi,
lekin o‘ziga bu uchun ishonch bermaydi.
So, no. Self-love is not soft. It’s strict. Sometimes lonely. Often uncomfortable. Agar o‘zini sevish senga ogʻriq bermayotgan boʻlsa, demak, sen uni noto‘g‘ri qilayapsan.

Bitta savol meni anchadan beri qiynaydi: odamlar o‘zining asl sohasi aynan shu ekanligini qayerdan bilishadi o‘zi?
Like… qaysi momentda “ha, mana bu MEN” deb qaror qilishadi?
Menga aytishlari mumkin:
“Sen koreys tilidan ustozsan-ku”, “polyglotsan-ku”, “shu sening yo‘ling”.
Shoshmang. Really, don’t rush.
Bu — mening asosiy soham emas.
Bu — qilgan ishlarimdan biri, xolos.
Men faqat ustoz bo‘lmaganman. Men o‘quv markaz menejeri, o'rganuvchi, admin, tikuvchi, qandolatchi, mentor, radioboshlovchi, yozuvchi boʻlganman. Va yo‘q, bu “wow, qanchadan-qancha soha” degani emas.
Bu shunchaki… hobbylar.
Chunki soha — bu boshqa narsa.
Pul olib kelayotgani — bu soha degani emas.
Hobby orqali pul topsam ham, bu uni avtomatik ravishda “my calling” qilib qo‘ymaydi.
People love saying:
“Pul kelyaptimi? Bas, shu sening sohang.”
No.That’s not how it works. Men bir xillikni yoqtirmayman. Routine meni bo‘g‘adi. Shu sababli hobbylarim ko‘p. Shu sababli men tez zerikaman. Especially ish va odamlardan.
Bugun qiziq. Ertaga — yo‘q.
And that scares people.
Chunki jamiyatga bitta yo‘l qulayroq: bitta kasb, bitta titul, bitta stiker.
Lekin men shundayman:
ko‘p qirraliman,
tez yonaman,
tez soviyman, va bular — kamchilik emas.
Balki mening soham — bitta nomga sig‘maydigan narsadir.
Balki men hali topmaganman.
Balki topishim shart ham emasdir.
Maybe my real thing isn’t a job, but the way I think, the way I connect dots, the way I feel too much and get bored too fast.
Va balki eng katta haqiqat shuki: hamma ham “asl soha” bilan tug‘ilmaydi.
Ba’zilar uni izlab yashaydi.
Ba’zilar esa… uni o‘zi yaratadi.
And honestly?
I think I’m the second type.

"Bir kishi aytadi:
Bir marta bir insonni xafa qildim va u tinchlanishi uchun biroz muddatga uni tark etdim. Keyin qaytganimda, u mendan gina ohangida so'radi: 'Meni shuncha vaqt arazda qoldirib ketish senga shunchalik oson bo'ldimi?'

Men unga: 'Senga tinchlanishing uchun imkon berdim, keyin gaplashib tushunib olamiz deb o'yladim', dedim.

U menga shunday javob berdiki, buni aslo unutmayman: 'Agar uy yonayotgan boʻlsa va sen uni asrab qolmoqchi bo'lsang, olov yonib turgan paytda uni o'chirishing kerak. Chunki olov o'z-o'zidan o'chishini kutsang, u oʻchganida uyda hech narsa qolmagan, hammasi yonib bo'lgan boʻladi'.

Shunday narsalar borki, masofa ularni sovitadi.

O'z yaqinlaringizni 'tinchlanib olsin' degan maqsadda arazda yolg'iz qoldirib ketmang. Bilingki, ular qaytib kelishsa ham, hech qachon avvalgidek boʻlmaydilar. Chunki ba'zan insonning ichida bir narsa sinadi...suv yana o'z oʻzaniga qaytishi mumkin, lekin u suv endi ichishga yaroqli boʻlmaydi."

You know what I realized?
Problem menda kuch yo‘qligida emas ekan.
Problem — I’m not showing up fully as myself.
Menga bir savol berishdi:
“If no one was in front of you — no one judging, no one criticizing, no one leaving — would you live differently?”
And I said, “Yes.”
Shu “yes” hammasini ochib berdi.
Demak men hali ham external validation bilan yashayapman.
Kim nima deydi?
What if they don’t like me?
What if they leave?
What if I look too much?
Shu qo‘rquvlar meni 100% emas, maybe 60–70% qilib qo‘ygan.
Truth?
I can speak stronger.
I can set higher standards.
I can take bigger risks.
Ba’zi joylarda “no” deyishim kerak.
Ba’zi joylarda walk away qilishim kerak.
Lekin men safe versionni tanlayman.
Because I’m scared of losing people.
But the best version of me?
U yangi odam emas.
It’s just me — without fear of being judged.
Eng zo‘r versiya qo‘shish bilan chiqmaydi. It comes from removing something.
Removing the need to be liked.
Removing the fear of being misunderstood.
Removing the habit of shrinking myself.
The strongest version of me
doesn’t fear people leaving.
doesn’t fear being “too much.”
doesn’t dim the light to make others comfortable.
Menga yana motivatsiya kerak emas.
I need courage.
Courage to be 10% more myself tomorrow.

And real growth?

Shu yerda boshlanadi.

Sometimes I feel like I want to talk about everything.
About the things I know.
About the things I’m learning.
I want to share them. I want to teach, but I don’t always know where to start.

It all feels messy. Tangled.
Like my thoughts are running faster than I can hold them. Sometimes I don’t even know what I truly want. It feels like life is passing me by…
Like I’m fading out of it.
And then something shifts.
Something comes back to me.
That spark.
That clarity.
That version of me.
But after a while…it leaves again.
And I’m left alone.

Just me.
And then…
just me again.

Many perceive me as a simple volume — light in the hand, effortless to read.
A pleasant little story, perhaps.
Nothing too intricate. Nothing too deep. Yet should one dare to read with care, they may find themselves wandering
between my pages.
For I am not written in a single layer.
My opening chapters are deceivingly gentle.
They invite assumptions.
They allow judgment.
Some will murmur, “How peculiar.”
Others will close the cover too soon.
And yet — those who linger
often discover that the very strangeness they questioned
begins to intrigue them.
Still, there is one quiet truth:
No soul has read me in full.
My lines are inscribed in another tongue.
And most have attempted to translate me into the language of their own understanding.
They added their fears.
Their expectations.
Their unfinished stories.
And believed they had understood me.
But they had merely read themselves.
I remain — bound, breathing, unfinished.
Part of me belongs to candlelit ballrooms, to silk that whispers against marble floors, to glances that speak before words dare to.
And part of me belongs to glowing screens, to fast replies, to late-night overthinking and “it is what it is.”
And somewhere in between — there is a quieter fragment of me that doesn't belong to any era.
Not vintage.
Not modern.
Just… becoming.
So if I seem simple at first glance, don't be deceived.
Some books aren't meant to be consumed.
They are meant to be discovered — slowly.

Ba’zan biznes boshlayotgan yoki nimadir ish boshlayotgan odamlarning eng katta xatosi - foyda haqida juda erta o‘ylashadi.

Boshida hamma hisob-kitob qiladi: qancha topaman, qachon qaytadi, qancha daromad beradi. Lekin haqiqat shuki, boshlanish davrida biznes ko‘pincha foyda bermaydi — u sarmoya talab qiladi. Faqat pul emas, vaqt, energiya va sabr ham.

Shu paytda ko‘p odamlar to‘xtab qoladi. Chunki ular daromadni kutadi. Aslida esa boshida daromad emas, aylanish muhim bo‘ladi. Qilgan pulingizni yana ishga solasiz. Kerak bo‘lsa qo‘lingizdagi bor mablag‘ni ham aylanmaga qo‘shasiz.

Biznesning birinchi davri ko‘proq qurilish jarayoniga o‘xshaydi. Uy hali bitmagan paytda undan yashashni kutib bo‘lmaydi.

Qisqa muddatdagi foydani emas, uzoq muddatni o‘ylash kerak. Sababi uzoq muddatdagi foyda deyarli har doim qisqa muddatdagidan kattaroq qiymat beradi. Ayniqsa hozirgi zamonda. O‘zingiz ko‘rib turibsiz: narxlar kundan kun o‘zgarayapti, bozor tez harakatlanayapti. Bugun kichik ko‘ringan narsa ertaga katta qiymatga aylanishi mumkin. Inflatiya kundan kun yuqorilashib ketyabdi, har narsada.

Elon Musk ham shunaqa yo‘l tutgan. U Tesla, Inc. va SpaceXni boshlagan paytda yillar davomida deyarli hamma pulini yana kompaniyalarga qayta tikkan. U foydani emas, tizimni qurishni tanlagan.

Bu yerda gap faqat pul haqida emas. Gap shundaki, biznes boshida foyda uchun emas — tizim qurish uchun ishlaydi.

Agar boshida har bir so‘mni olib chiqishga harakat qilsangiz, biznes o‘sishga ulgurmaydi. Chunki u hali ildiz otayotgan bo‘ladi. Daraxtni ekib, ertasi kuni meva kutib bo‘lmaydi.

Ba’zan eng katta foyda — sabr qilishda bo‘ladi. Chunki vaqt o‘tishi bilan to‘g‘ri qurilgan tizim o‘zi ishlay boshlaydi. O‘sha paytda esa biznes siz uchun ishlaydi, siz biznes uchun emas.

Bilasizmi, ba’zan insonni ortiqcha berilgan bo‘shliq yoki kerakmas paytda berilgan vaqt sizdan asta-sekin uzoqlashishiga sabab bo‘ladi. Eng to‘g‘risi — vaqtida berilgan e’tibor.
Masalan, sizga qaynoq choy yoki qaynoq ovqat berildi. Uni darrov ichsangiz tilingiz kuyadi. Biroz kutib ichsangiz — ayni muddao. Ammo juda ham e’tiborsiz qoldirib yuborsangiz, sovib ketadi va mazasi ham qolmaydi.
Insoniy munosabatlar ham xuddi shunday: ortiqcha e’tiborsizlik katta yo‘qotishlarga olib keladi. Shuning uchun hayotingizda yoqtirgan insoningiz bo‘lsa, uni vaqtida qadrlang.

Do you know…about 5 years ago, I fell in love with someone.

He taught me how to see life differently. He showed me that loving myself is important.
That being different, being unlike anyone else…is not something to hide — it’s something beautiful.
Because of him, I stopped hiding who I am. And yes…I’m still in love with him.
But he doesn’t know. He doesn’t even know I exist.
But you know what? That’s not the worst part. The hardest part is…since I fell for him, I started loving myself differently too.
Now, an ordinary life doesn’t feel enough. Now I dream — bigger, deeper, from my heart.
I realized…I don’t need to reach him. Because he already gave me the most important thing —
he helped me find myself.

As Jeon Jungkook once said:“행복은 멀리 있는 게 아니라, 가까이에 있는 거예요.”(Happiness isn’t far away, it’s right beside you.)
And also…“노력하면 안 되는 건 없다.”(If you try, there’s nothing you can’t do.)
Maybe…the people we love aren’t meant to be ours. Maybe they come into our lives to wake us up. And maybe…this isn’t just love. Maybe this is the moment we finally learn how to love ourselves.

Do‘stlik va sevgida manfaat bo‘lmaydi deysizmi?
— Bo‘ladi. Faqat biz “manfaat” deganda darrov pul, sovg‘a, foyda, ishlatib ketish deb tushunamiz. Odamzod yana hammasini drama qilib yubormasa bo‘lmaydi, axir.
Aslida do‘stlikdagi manfaat bu:
ishonch, support, xabar olish, himoya qilish, tushunish, yonida turish.

“Nimadir sabab bilan do‘st bo‘linmaydi” deysizmi?
— WTF, unda nega hamma bilan do‘st emassiz? Ko‘chada ko‘rgan har bitta odamga “bestie” deb yurmayapsiz-ku.
Do‘stlik ham bir sababdan boshlanadi: kimdir sizni tushunadi, kimdir energiyangizga mos keladi, kimdir yoningizda o‘zingizdek bo‘lishingizga ruxsat beradi.
Lekin do‘stlik faqat “qalaysan?” deb yozib qo‘yish emas! Ayniqsa zerikib qolganda eslab qoladigan odam bo‘lsangiz, kechirasiz-u, bu do‘stlik emas. Bu “contact listda tirikmi yo‘qmi tekshirib ko‘rish” level'i!
Hayotiy misol:
Qiz bola bir do‘stini yaqin ko‘radi, sirini aytadi, ishonadi, support kutadi. U esa faqat o‘ziga kerak bo‘lganda yozadi:
“Qalesan?”
“Uxlamadingmi?”
“Gaplashib turaylik-da.”
Bro, bu friendship emas. Bu bored mode.
Do‘st bo‘lishning ham mas’uliyati bor. Xabar olib turish kerak. Kerak paytda yonida turish kerak. Uni faqat kayfiyatingizga qarab eslamaslik kerak.
Agar hech narsa bermasangiz: na vaqt, na e’tibor, na ishonch, na support, lekin o‘zingizni “men uning do‘stiman” deb hisoblasangiz, bu judayam interesting comedy.

Do‘stlik ham, sevgi ham ikki tomonlama bo‘ladi. Bir odam doim berib, ikkinchisi faqat “online ko‘rindi-yu, javob bermadi” darajasida yashasa, bu relationship emas.

Bu emotional Wi-Fi o‘g‘irlash!

Ish bo‘yicha ham bitta gapni aytmasam bo‘lmaydi.
Ba’zi katta mansabdagi insonlarning qo‘lida ishlasangiz, boshida sizga xuddi “oilamizning bir bo‘lagisiz” degandek muomala qilishadi. Gaplari shunaqa shirin bo‘ladiki, bir qarasangiz, o‘zingizni xodim emas, kompaniyaning kelajagi deb o‘ylab qolasiz. Realda esa kelajak emas, tekinga ishlaydigan “ko‘p funksiyali aparat” bo‘lib turgan bo‘lasiz.
Sizdan foydalanishadi, vaqtingizni olishadi, kuchingizni olishadi, miyangizni siqib suvini chiqarishadi. Oxirida esa bitta gap:
“Endi foydangiz tegmay qoldi.”
Voy, rahmat. Demak, odam emas ekanmiz, powerbank ekanmiz. Zaryad tugasa, tashlab yuborilarkan.
Eng yomoni, ish jarayonida sizni ketkazmaslik uchun juda chiroyli manipulyatsiya qilishadi:
“Biz sizga ishonamiz.”
“Sizsiz bu ish yurmaydi.”
“Hali hammasi yaxshi bo‘ladi.”
“Hozir qiyin, lekin keyin ko‘tarilamiz.”
Ha, ko‘tariladi. Faqat ular ko‘tariladi. Siz esa o‘sha joyda stress, charchoq va “nega men bunaqa ahmoq bo‘ldim?” degan savollar bilan qolib ketasiz.
Ishlagan mehnatingizga yarasha maosh berilmaydi, lekin sizdan natija olimpiyadasi talab qilinadi. Xuddi, 500 ming so‘mga Elon Musk natijasini kutishadi. Insoniyatning navbatdagi kulgili fojeasi.
Yana bir narsani juda qattiq tushundim:

Qo‘l ostingizdagi odamlar bilan haddan tashqari yaqin bo‘lish ham katta xato ekan.

Hamkasb yaxshi bo‘lishi mumkin. Ishda hurmat bo‘lishi mumkin. Kulish, gaplashish, yordam berish mumkin. Lekin hammani ham “dugona”, “yaqin inson”, “o‘zimniki” deb ko‘ngilga yaqin olish kerak emas.
Chunki ba’zi odamlar bor: sizdan hamma narsani o‘rganadi, yoningizda yuradi, sirlaringizni biladi, o‘zini sizga juda yaqin ko‘rsatadi. Siz esa uni ko‘tarasiz, o‘rgatasiz, yo‘l ko‘rsatasiz. Bir kuni qarasangiz, siz o‘stirgan odam sizga qarshi ishlayotgan bo‘ladi.
Eng og‘riqli zarba ko‘pincha dushmandan kelmaydi. Dushman baribir dushman. Undan ehtiyot bo‘lasiz. Lekin yoningizda choy ichib, sizga “opa, sizdan ko‘p narsa o‘rgandim” deb yurgan kichik insondan pichoq yeysiz. Ana shu joyi odamni sindiradi.
Hayotda shunaqa odamlar bo‘ladi: siz ularni noldan ko‘tarasiz, o‘zingizning darajangizga olib chiqasiz, lekin keyin tushunasizki, ularning “yaqinlik” degani aslida mansabga olib boradigan lift bo‘lgan. Siz esa o‘sha liftning tugmasini bosib turgan odamsiz.

Shuning uchun bitta narsani yodda tutish kerak:
Hamma samimiy ko‘ringan inson samimiy emas.
Hamma kulib gapirgan odam do‘st emas.
Hamma yoningizda yurgan odam siz tomonda emas.

Ba’zida biz qo‘ynimizda ilon o‘stiramiz. Unga joy beramiz, issiq beramiz, ishonch beramiz. Keyin bir kun kelib, o‘sha ilon bizni chaqadi. Eng qizig‘i, biz hayron qolamiz. Ilon edi-ku, nima kutgandingiz? Kapalak bo‘lib uchib ketishinimi?
Xulosa shuki: ish joyida mehr bo‘lsin, lekin chegara ham bo‘lsin. Yordam bo‘lsin, lekin ko‘r-ko‘rona ishonch bo‘lmasin. Odamlarga imkon bering, lekin o‘zingizni qurbon qilib emas.
Chunki bu hayotda sizni qadrlagan odam sizdan foyda tugaganda ham hurmat qiladi. Faqat foyda uchun yaqinlashgan odam esa foydasi tugagan kuni yuzini ham, gapini ham, niyatini ham o‘zgartiradi.
Va eng achchiq haqiqat:
Ba’zi ish joylarida sizni ketganingizdan keyin emas, ketishga aqlingiz yetganidan keyin yomon ko‘rishadi.

Qachondan beri kuzataman…
Rostdan, biz nega bunaqa bo‘lib qoldik?
O‘zbekistonda ko‘p narsani ko‘ryapman. Chet elliklar bilan ham tanishdim, o‘g‘il-qiz do‘stlar orttirdim. Va bilasizmi nimani tushundim? Ba’zi “eski viruslar” faqat bizda hali ham update bo‘lmasdan ishlayapti. Texnologiya 5G, lekin mindset ba’zan “knopkali telefon”.

1. Qo‘rquvni hurmat deb o‘ylashimiz

Bizda bosim juda kuchli. Hattoki o‘quvchi ustozidan qo‘rqadi. Ustoz yoniga kelsa, bola bilgan narsasini ham o‘qiy olmay qoladi. Bu bilim yetishmagani emas. Bu stress.
Keyin kattalar aytadi:
“Mana, tayyorlanmagan ekan.”
Yo‘q, u tayyorlangan. Faqat siz uning miyasiga “panic mode”ni yoqib qo‘ydingiz. O‘quvchi bilimini ko‘rsatishi kerak bo‘lgan joyda, ichida survival mode ketadi. Judayam “modern education”, congrats 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

2. Biznesmi yoki “cargo qimmatda" bahonasimi?

Boshqa davlatda 40 ming so‘m turadigan narsa bizga keladi-da, birdan 200-250 ming bo‘lib qoladi.

Savol: cargo shunchalik qimmatmi yoki vijdon bojxonada qolib ketdimi?

Albatta, biznesda foyda bo‘ladi. Hech kim savob uchun sotmayapti, tushunamiz. Lekin 40 minglik narsani 250 mingga sotib, yana “original, premium, limited” deb yozish ham bor-da. Limited narsa emas, sizning uyat chegarangiz limited ekan.

3. Qizlar standartni juda past qo‘yib yuboryapti

Eng alam qiladigani shu: ba’zi qizlar yigit oddiy bitta xabar yozib qo‘ysa ham “woooow, princess treatment” deb yuradi.
“Bugun ovqatlandingmi?” deb yozibdi.
Tamom. Haqiqiy erkak topildi. Nobel mukofoti beringlar.
Yoki yillar davomida yaqin inson bo‘lib, umrida birinchi marta gul beradi. Keyin orqasidan hisobini so‘raydi. Bu romantika emas, bu рассрочка bilan mehr.
Qachondan beri oddiy e’tibor luxury bo‘lib qoldi?

Axir oldin odamlar sevgi, do‘stlik, hurmat uchun kurashgan. Himoya qilishgan, yonida turishgan, mas’uliyatni burch deb bilishgan.

Hozir esa bitta like bosib qo‘ysa:
“Voy, meni eslabdi.”
Girl, he just moved his finger. That’s not love, that’s screen activity.

4. “Qizlar faqat pulga qaraydi” degan gap

Bu gapni ko‘p eshitamiz:
“Hozirgi qizlar faqat puli boriga qaraydi.”
No, honey. You’re just a boy, not a man.

Qizlar faqat pul qidirmaydi. Qizlar daraja qidiradi. Aql, hurmat, farosat, mas’uliyat, ilm, jismoniy va ruhiy kuch. Pul ham kerak, albatta. Chunki hayot motivatsion quote bilan to‘lanmaydi.

Qizning otasi qizi so‘ramasidan ham pul beradi. Nega? Aynan “qizlar pulga qaraydi” deb yuradiganlarga kuni qolmasin deb!
Qiz bola yonidagi insonidan nimadir oʻrganishni, u bilan o‘sishni xohlaydi, shu uchun u har taraflama qizdan boy boʻlishi kerak. U do‘st bo‘ladimi, hamroh bo‘ladimi, turmush o‘rtoq bo‘ladimi — farqi yo‘q. U odamdan nimadir o‘rganishni, suyanishni, hurmat ko‘rishni xohlaydi.
Qizga faqat romantika kerak emas. Gul kerak, lekin guldan keyin “pulini chiqar” degan mentalitet kerak emas. Xabar kerak, lekin faqat zerikkanda yoziladigan “qalaysan?” kerak emas.

Qizlarga har tomonlama kuchli inson kerak: do‘st, suhbatdosh, hamroh, himoyachi, support system.

Xulosa achchiq, lekin real:
Bizda ko‘p odam minimal narsani “katta mehr” deb qabul qilib o‘rgangan. Shuning uchun ayrimlar oddiy hurmatni ham bonusdek ko‘rsatadi.
Aslida esa xabar yozish, hurmat qilish, yonida turish, adolatli narx qo‘yish, bosim bilan emas, bilim bilan ishlash — bular ekstra emas. Bular normal. Lekin biz normal narsani unutib qo‘yganmiz. Ana shu eng qoʻrqinchili joyi!

Arzon narsalar qimmat narsalarga bog'liq bo’lib qoldi ba'zida bir piyola choy arzon lekin uni kim bilan ichishing qimmat, bir dona non arzon lekin uni topolmay qolgan kuning juda qimmat,bir oddiy so’z arzon lekin yurakdan aytilgani bebaho, bir qo’ng’iroq qilish arzon lekin kimningdir ovozini yana eshitish nasib bo’lishi qimmat, bir lahza vaqt arzondek tuyuladi lekin o'sha lahza qaytib kelmasligi juda qimmat, shunda tushunasan dunyoda eng arzon ko'ringan narsalar aslida eng qimmat hislarga bog'liq ekan…