🧠 Why We Can't Stop Scrolling Even When We're Bored Out of Our Minds
You've been on your phone for ninety minutes. You know this because you saw the screen time notification, ignored it, and kept going. The posts aren't even good anymore. You're past the funny stuff, past the friends-you-actually-like stuff, deep into the territory of strangers' kitchen renovations and a video about a man who collects vintage staplers.
Full story + illustrations
You've been on your phone for ninety minutes. You know this because you saw the screen time notification, ignored it, and kept going. The posts aren't even good anymore. You're past the funny stuff, past the friends-you-actually-like stuff, deep into the territory of strangers' kitchen renovations and a video about a man who collects vintage staplers.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Apologize to Inanimate Objects (And Feel Weird About It)
You're walking through your living room, half-distracted, thinking about whether you remembered to send that email. Your hip clips the corner of the coffee table. And before you can even register the pain, it slips out: "Sorry."
Full story + illustrations
You're walking through your living room, half-distracted, thinking about whether you remembered to send that email. Your hip clips the corner of the coffee table. And before you can even register the pain, it slips out: "Sorry."
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Feel Guilty for No Reason (Even When We've Done Nothing Wrong)
You're brushing your teeth, minding your own business, when your stomach drops. And out of nowhere, your stomach drops because you suddenly remember you didn't reply to your friend's text from… Tuesday? Or was it Monday? You're not sure, but you ARE sure that she's probably mad, possibly forever, and definitely re-evaluating the entire friendship.
Full story + illustrations
You're brushing your teeth, minding your own business, when your stomach drops. And out of nowhere, your stomach drops because you suddenly remember you didn't reply to your friend's text from… Tuesday? Or was it Monday? You're not sure, but you ARE sure that she's probably mad, possibly forever, and definitely re-evaluating the entire friendship.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Check the Fridge for No Reason (Even When We Just Looked)
You open the fridge. There's the half-empty jar of pesto from two weekends ago, the suspicious Tupperware you've been afraid to investigate, three eggs, a wilting bag of spinach, and a bottle of soy sauce that's somehow been there since you moved in. You stare. You close the door.
Full story + illustrations
You open the fridge. There's the half-empty jar of pesto from two weekends ago, the suspicious Tupperware you've been afraid to investigate, three eggs, a wilting bag of spinach, and a bottle of soy sauce that's somehow been there since you moved in. You stare. You close the door.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 You Said 'You Too' to a Waiter. Here's Why Your Brain Did That.
The waiter sets down your pasta, smiles, and says "Enjoy your meal." You make eye contact. You smile back. And from your mouth, with the confidence of a man who knows exactly what he's doing, comes the phrase: "You too."
Full story + illustrations
The waiter sets down your pasta, smiles, and says "Enjoy your meal." You make eye contact. You smile back. And from your mouth, with the confidence of a man who knows exactly what he's doing, comes the phrase: "You too."
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Remember Embarrassing Moments From 10 Years Ago
You're lying in bed. The room is dark. The day was fine. And then — unprompted, uninvited — your brain serves up that moment from 2013 when you waved back at someone who wasn't actually waving at you. They were waving at the person behind you. You lowered your hand slowly, like a coward. You haven't seen this person in eleven years. You don't know their name. You probably wouldn't recognize them in a lineup. But your brain has stored this moment in 4K, surround sound, with director's commentary.
Full story + illustrations
You're lying in bed. The room is dark. The day was fine. And then — unprompted, uninvited — your brain serves up that moment from 2013 when you waved back at someone who wasn't actually waving at you. They were waving at the person behind you. You lowered your hand slowly, like a coward. You haven't seen this person in eleven years. You don't know their name. You probably wouldn't recognize them in a lineup. But your brain has stored this moment in 4K, surround sound, with director's commentary.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Can't Remember What We Were Doing 3 Seconds Ago
You stand up from the couch with absolute clarity. You're going to the kitchen to get the thing. You know exactly what the thing is. You can picture the thing. You take six steps, round the corner, and arrive in the kitchen as a freshly factory-reset human being.
Full story + illustrations
You stand up from the couch with absolute clarity. You're going to the kitchen to get the thing. You know exactly what the thing is. You can picture the thing. You take six steps, round the corner, and arrive in the kitchen as a freshly factory-reset human being.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Get Angry When Hungry: The Science of Being 'Hangry'
Everyone becomes a slightly worse person when hungry. Not worse in a complicated, interesting way — just worse. Your tone gets edges. Your patience disappears. Perfectly reasonable questions start sounding like accusations. Your coworker asks you something about a spreadsheet, and in your head you respond calmly, but out loud something feral happens. Your tone has knives in it. You watch their face fall and think: what is wrong with me, it's a spreadsheet.
Full story + illustrations
Everyone becomes a slightly worse person when hungry. Not worse in a complicated, interesting way — just worse. Your tone gets edges. Your patience disappears. Perfectly reasonable questions start sounding like accusations. Your coworker asks you something about a spreadsheet, and in your head you respond calmly, but out loud something feral happens. Your tone has knives in it. You watch their face fall and think: what is wrong with me, it's a spreadsheet.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Talk to Ourselves Out Loud (And Why It's Actually Smart)
Same thing. Every time. You're standing in the middle of the kitchen holding a wooden spoon, and you say, out loud, to no one: "Okay. So. Garlic." Nobody is there. The cat left the room twenty minutes ago because frankly she's heard enough. But you're narrating your own cooking like a low-budget travel show, complete with a muttered "oh come ON" when the olive oil bottle does that drip thing down the side. Earlier today you told your laptop "don't you dare" when it started updating. Last week you walked through Target whispering "toothpaste, paper towels, that thing for the sink" like a small deranged poet. And when you finally found your keys — in the bowl where keys live, like always — you announced it. "There you are." To the keys. As if they had been hiding from you on purpose and now...
Full story + illustrations
Same thing. Every time. You're standing in the middle of the kitchen holding a wooden spoon, and you say, out loud, to no one: "Okay. So. Garlic." Nobody is there. The cat left the room twenty minutes ago because frankly she's heard enough. But you're narrating your own cooking like a low-budget travel show, complete with a muttered "oh come ON" when the olive oil bottle does that drip thing down the side. Earlier today you told your laptop "don't you dare" when it started updating. Last week you walked through Target whispering "toothpaste, paper towels, that thing for the sink" like a small deranged poet. And when you finally found your keys — in the bowl where keys live, like always — you announced it. "There you are." To the keys. As if they had been hiding from you on purpose and now...
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Feel Watched Even When We're Completely Alone
There is no one in your apartment. You know this. And yet — somewhere between the bathroom and the fridge — you tug the hem of your t-shirt down. For who. The radiator? You pour a glass of water and catch your own reflection in the dark window and immediately stand up straighter. You laugh at a podcast and you laugh in a slightly performed way, like there’s a studio audience hidden behind the couch. When you trip over the rug, you say “sorry” out loud. To the rug. You eat a spoonful of peanut butter directly from the jar and feel — somehow — caught. The plant didn’t see anything. The plant has no eyes. And yet the entire performance continues: the small adjustments, the invisible posture, the faint sense that someone, somewhere, is keeping notes. You live alone. You have lived alone for...
Full story + illustrations
There is no one in your apartment. You know this. And yet — somewhere between the bathroom and the fridge — you tug the hem of your t-shirt down. For who. The radiator? You pour a glass of water and catch your own reflection in the dark window and immediately stand up straighter. You laugh at a podcast and you laugh in a slightly performed way, like there’s a studio audience hidden behind the couch. When you trip over the rug, you say “sorry” out loud. To the rug. You eat a spoonful of peanut butter directly from the jar and feel — somehow — caught. The plant didn’t see anything. The plant has no eyes. And yet the entire performance continues: the small adjustments, the invisible posture, the faint sense that someone, somewhere, is keeping notes. You live alone. You have lived alone for...
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 The Strange Reason You Cringe for Strangers
Someone is doing karaoke. Badly. Not charming-bad — actually bad. They’ve picked a song two octaves above their range and they’re committed, eyes closed, hand on chest, and you can see the exact moment they realize the chorus is coming and they’ve already burned through their good notes. You are not singing. You don’t know this person. You will never see them again. And yet your shoulders have crawled up to your ears, your face is hot, and you’re suddenly very interested in your drink.
Full story + illustrations
Someone is doing karaoke. Badly. Not charming-bad — actually bad. They’ve picked a song two octaves above their range and they’re committed, eyes closed, hand on chest, and you can see the exact moment they realize the chorus is coming and they’ve already burned through their good notes. You are not singing. You don’t know this person. You will never see them again. And yet your shoulders have crawled up to your ears, your face is hot, and you’re suddenly very interested in your drink.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Why We Feel Exhausted The Moment We Get Home
The key turns. The door clicks. You drop your bag in the exact spot you swore you’d stop dropping it, and within four seconds your body decides it can no longer participate in being a person. Your shoes come off like they weigh forty pounds each. The couch develops a gravitational field. You consider, briefly, eating dinner while lying horizontally because standing at the counter feels like a marathon you didn’t train for.
Full story + illustrations
The key turns. The door clicks. You drop your bag in the exact spot you swore you’d stop dropping it, and within four seconds your body decides it can no longer participate in being a person. Your shoes come off like they weigh forty pounds each. The couch develops a gravitational field. You consider, briefly, eating dinner while lying horizontally because standing at the counter feels like a marathon you didn’t train for.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 The Strange Reason You Want to Bite Cute Things
A puppy yawns. A tiny puppy, with paws too big for its body and breath that smells like warm milk. And somewhere deep in your chest, a sound escapes that is part coo, part growl, and entirely unhinged. “I could just EAT you,” you hiss through clenched teeth, miming a chomp at its little face. The puppy, who has done nothing wrong, blinks at you in mild concern.
Full story + illustrations
A puppy yawns. A tiny puppy, with paws too big for its body and breath that smells like warm milk. And somewhere deep in your chest, a sound escapes that is part coo, part growl, and entirely unhinged. “I could just EAT you,” you hiss through clenched teeth, miming a chomp at its little face. The puppy, who has done nothing wrong, blinks at you in mild concern.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Your Brain Thinks Baby Shark Is an Unfinished Task
Baby Shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo. You haven't heard this song in months. You don't have children. You don't know any children. You were, just seconds ago, thinking about a spreadsheet. But now your brain — the same organ that handles language, memory, and keeping your heart going — has decided that what this moment really needs is the full chorus of a song you actively despise. You try to dislodge it with something you actually like. Doesn't work. You try silence. Doesn't work. You try thinking very hard about literally anything else — somehow makes it louder. By 4 PM you're humming it. By 6 PM you're whisper-singing it at the bus stop like a haunted Victorian child.
Full story + illustrations
Baby Shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo. You haven't heard this song in months. You don't have children. You don't know any children. You were, just seconds ago, thinking about a spreadsheet. But now your brain — the same organ that handles language, memory, and keeping your heart going — has decided that what this moment really needs is the full chorus of a song you actively despise. You try to dislodge it with something you actually like. Doesn't work. You try silence. Doesn't work. You try thinking very hard about literally anything else — somehow makes it louder. By 4 PM you're humming it. By 6 PM you're whisper-singing it at the bus stop like a haunted Victorian child.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Your Brain Thinks Matching Accents Is Survival
Twenty minutes into the phone call with your colleague from Glasgow, you hear yourself say the word "wee." Not ironically. Just casually, in a sentence, like it's been sitting in your vocabulary your whole life. You are from Ohio. You have never been to Scotland. You once thought haggis was a type of bird.
Full story + illustrations
Twenty minutes into the phone call with your colleague from Glasgow, you hear yourself say the word "wee." Not ironically. Just casually, in a sentence, like it's been sitting in your vocabulary your whole life. You are from Ohio. You have never been to Scotland. You once thought haggis was a type of bird.
Full story + illustrations
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🧠 Hangxiety: Why You Wake Up Convinced You Ruined Everything
Nothing happened. You have reviewed the evidence — no regrettable messages, no humiliating Instagram stories, a completely normal set of goodnight texts. Did you laugh too loud at that one joke? Were you weird to Sarah’s boyfriend? You scroll back through your messages. Nothing damning. You check Instagram. No humiliating stories. Everyone, by all available evidence, had a perfectly fine time.
Full story + illustrations
Nothing happened. You have reviewed the evidence — no regrettable messages, no humiliating Instagram stories, a completely normal set of goodnight texts. Did you laugh too loud at that one joke? Were you weird to Sarah’s boyfriend? You scroll back through your messages. Nothing damning. You check Instagram. No humiliating stories. Everyone, by all available evidence, had a perfectly fine time.
Full story + illustrations
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