♡ Home is what you fight for ♡

I have been stuck, a little taken aback
I look around, I feel the pain
I feel the sickness, I feel the shame
What is it to be alive? What does it mean when you're not fine?
•
Let me explain how I feel. . .
Told how to act, how to speak perhaps how to surrender
Many define it as a form of good behavior
Sometimes I wonder, when is it ever enough? When is it ever going to end?
First observation then comes manipulation
The other well it's easy, authentication for the better of the situation
I shudder, I stutter looking at their face
I feel like screaming, I feel unsettled, I am unsettled
•
I went outside that day, wanted to be thrown, away,,, far away
A sound from a far tickled my earlobes
It felt right, nothing ever felt right
Want to change, mop the floors
Want to wake up, on the side of a shore
One touch, for a fear
Body warm, eyes full of tears
Felt the noises, heard all the stories
•
Let me adjust my memory,
Collect all the dust, understand their ways
correct all the pieces, Better will come,
Behold! and do as told
Feelings are overrated
To feel, I shallnot
To flee, I can not
To ask, I better not
Forget, oh well! I guess not
•
So what if I pretend?. . .please no pity
Words don't fill me
Not here to please or be pleased
Only dreamed to be free
Chose to wade in the water
How can I renege? I still want to feel the pain
Getting out sounds like a fairytale
Hhmmm,,,,,I'll treat myself and meet my saviour on the other side
Perhaps I'll leave my pain for him to find
Nothing changes either ways
I'm still stuck in this place
The only place I get to see
The only space I get to fill
•
I have done it before
Tried to let go
Tried to feel the light
Not expecting, to end up with such fight
•
Change doesn't come that easily,
it's easier to adapt than heal
You see, I'd rather share than tell
Seek, you'll get attention
Speak, you'll bring destruction
A simple sequence,,,,,, I was put
A simple rule,,,,,,, I thought
A simple order,,,,,, I never fought
•
In the day, I abide
In the night, I fly
The only time I touch the sky
The only space, I carry my pride
The only place, I speak my mind

I am fine,,,,, well, for now
This here is just fine,,,
I still go outside, to seek away
If not for long, a minute is okay
I won't know when,,,, I won't know how
My place is here, I shall use it somehow.
.
Written by: Deborah Dessalegn
Date: December 28th, 2019
Place: HerStories @allianceethio_francaise
Event: A night of performing arts #HERStories #AllianceEthio-Francaise

#Deborah_Dessalegn #gitemsitem #poeticsaturdays

#HerStories is an evening of poetry and prose that promotes augmenting the voices and perspectives of Ethiopian women through the written word. An annual event, #HerStories features multigenerational women writers of various backgrounds and experiences. This year, the program will take place on November 6th at the Alliance Ethio Francaise under the theme #Herresillience.
@Earuyan solutions is a social justice and impact-driven feminist social enterprise supporting organizations and individuals to promote gender equality and transformative feminist leadership.
Warming: the event will be held indoors. For sanitary reasons, audience will be limited to more or less 30 people, on a first-come first-served basis. The event will be streamed live as well. Link will be shared on the Facebook event page.
Please bring your ID to get in Alliance.
The event was made possible thanks to the support of Yefikir Design, Creations by Dina and Mems Studio.