If a man fears rebellious behaviour on the part of his wife,
Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī رحمه الله stated:
If a man fears rebellious behaviour on the part of his wife, because she shows signs of rebellion by not responding to his requests for intimacy, or she responds but does so reluctantly, then he should warn her and advise her to fear Allāh; he should remind her of what Allāh has enjoined upon her of duties and obedience, the sin involved in what she is doing and the rights of spending and clothing that she will lose, and the fact that he is permitted to hit her and forsake her in bed, because Allāh stated: “As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first).” [al-Nisā’ 4:34]
If she persists and shows signs of rebellion and refuses to share his bed, then he may forsake her in bed as much as he wishes, because Allāh stated: “(next) refuse to share their beds”[al-Nisā’ 4:34]
If she still persists, then he may hit her in a manner that does not cause harm, because Allāh stated: “(and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful).” [al-Nisā’ 4:34]
The phrase: “If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife).” [al-Nisā’ 4:35] means, if it is known to have reached this stage, then the judge should send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from hers, both of whom should be trustworthy, to decide either to reconcile and keep them together or to separate and divorce, and whatever they do will be binding upon them. That means that if the spouses reach the point of separation or enmity, the judge should appoint two free, Muslim arbitrators of good character, preferably from their families, with their approval and appointed by them, so that they can investigate the case and do what they think is best to reconcile them or to let them divorce by talāq or khula’. Then whatever they do will be binding upon them. The basis for this is the āyah: “If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for peace, Allāh will cause their reconciliation.” [al-Nisā’ 4:35]
( وإن خاف الرجل نشوز امرأته ) بأن تظهر منها أمارات النشوز بأن لا تجيبه إلى الاستمتاع أو تجيبه متبرمة متكرهة فإنه ( يعظها ) ويخوفها الله سبحانه ويذكر لها ما أوجب الله له عليها من الحق والطاعة وما يلحقها بذلك من الإثم وما يسقط عنها من النفقة والكسوة وما يباح له من ضربها فهجرها لقوله تعالى : ( واللاتي تخافون نشوزهن فعظوهن ) سورة النساء/34 ، ( فإن أصرت وأظهرت النشوز والامتناع من فراشه فله أن يهجرها في المضجع ما شاء ) لقوله سبحانه : ( وأهجروهن في المضاجع ) النساء/35 ، ( فإن أصرت فله أن يضربها ضرباً غير مبرح ) لقوله سبحانه : ( واضربوهن ) ، ( فإن خيف الشقاق بينهما ) يعني علم ( بعث الحاكم حكماً من أهله وحكماً من أهلها مأمونين يجمعان إن رأيا أو يفرقان ، فما فعلا من ذلك لزمهما ) وذلك أن الزوجين إذا خرجا إلى الشقاق والعداوة بعث الحاكم حكمين حرين مسلمين عدلين ، والأولى أن يكونا من أهلهما برضاهما وتوكيلهما فيكشفان عن حالهما ويفعلان ما يريانه من جمع بينهما أو تفريق بطلاق أو خلع ، فما فعلا من ذلك لزمهما ، والأصل فيه قوله سبحانه : ( وإن خفتم شقاق بينهما فابعثوا حكماً من أهله وحكماً من أهلها إن يريدا إصلاحاً يوفق الله بينهما ) .
العدة في شرح العمدة
Ibn Qudāmah al-Maqdīsī رحمه الله stated:
If a man fears rebellious behaviour on the part of his wife, because she shows signs of rebellion by not responding to his requests for intimacy, or she responds but does so reluctantly, then he should warn her and advise her to fear Allāh; he should remind her of what Allāh has enjoined upon her of duties and obedience, the sin involved in what she is doing and the rights of spending and clothing that she will lose, and the fact that he is permitted to hit her and forsake her in bed, because Allāh stated: “As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first).” [al-Nisā’ 4:34]
If she persists and shows signs of rebellion and refuses to share his bed, then he may forsake her in bed as much as he wishes, because Allāh stated: “(next) refuse to share their beds”[al-Nisā’ 4:34]
If she still persists, then he may hit her in a manner that does not cause harm, because Allāh stated: “(and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful).” [al-Nisā’ 4:34]
The phrase: “If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife).” [al-Nisā’ 4:35] means, if it is known to have reached this stage, then the judge should send an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from hers, both of whom should be trustworthy, to decide either to reconcile and keep them together or to separate and divorce, and whatever they do will be binding upon them. That means that if the spouses reach the point of separation or enmity, the judge should appoint two free, Muslim arbitrators of good character, preferably from their families, with their approval and appointed by them, so that they can investigate the case and do what they think is best to reconcile them or to let them divorce by talāq or khula’. Then whatever they do will be binding upon them. The basis for this is the āyah: “If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for peace, Allāh will cause their reconciliation.” [al-Nisā’ 4:35]
( وإن خاف الرجل نشوز امرأته ) بأن تظهر منها أمارات النشوز بأن لا تجيبه إلى الاستمتاع أو تجيبه متبرمة متكرهة فإنه ( يعظها ) ويخوفها الله سبحانه ويذكر لها ما أوجب الله له عليها من الحق والطاعة وما يلحقها بذلك من الإثم وما يسقط عنها من النفقة والكسوة وما يباح له من ضربها فهجرها لقوله تعالى : ( واللاتي تخافون نشوزهن فعظوهن ) سورة النساء/34 ، ( فإن أصرت وأظهرت النشوز والامتناع من فراشه فله أن يهجرها في المضجع ما شاء ) لقوله سبحانه : ( وأهجروهن في المضاجع ) النساء/35 ، ( فإن أصرت فله أن يضربها ضرباً غير مبرح ) لقوله سبحانه : ( واضربوهن ) ، ( فإن خيف الشقاق بينهما ) يعني علم ( بعث الحاكم حكماً من أهله وحكماً من أهلها مأمونين يجمعان إن رأيا أو يفرقان ، فما فعلا من ذلك لزمهما ) وذلك أن الزوجين إذا خرجا إلى الشقاق والعداوة بعث الحاكم حكمين حرين مسلمين عدلين ، والأولى أن يكونا من أهلهما برضاهما وتوكيلهما فيكشفان عن حالهما ويفعلان ما يريانه من جمع بينهما أو تفريق بطلاق أو خلع ، فما فعلا من ذلك لزمهما ، والأصل فيه قوله سبحانه : ( وإن خفتم شقاق بينهما فابعثوا حكماً من أهله وحكماً من أهلها إن يريدا إصلاحاً يوفق الله بينهما ) .
العدة في شرح العمدة
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[Chapter: The wife who stipulates in the marriage contract that her husband cannot take another wife].
Al-Marwazī رحمه الله stated:
I asked Imām Ahmad, "What about the woman who stipulates that her husband cannot marry another woman, nor have a concubine, and not take her out of her own house (to live with him)?"
Imām Ahmad replied: "All these conditions are for her (it is her right). If the man marries another woman or takes her out of her house, then she can choose to stay or to divorce him."
Ishāq (ibn Rāhawayh) agreed with Ahmad.
٢١٥٠ - إن اشترطت عليه ألا يتزوج عليها]
قلت: امرأة اشترطت على الرجل عند عقدة النكاح ألا تتزوج علي، ولا تتسرى، ولا تخرجني من داري؟
قال: هذِه الشروط كلها لها، فإن تزوج أو
تسرى فهي مخيرةٌ، إن شاءت أقامت معه، وإن شاءت فارقته. قال النبي -صلى اللَّه عليه وسلم-: "إِنَّ أَحَقَّ الشُّرُوطِ أَنْ يُوفَى بِهَا مَا أسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ بِهِ الفُرُوجَ".
قال إسحاق: كما قال.
"مسائل الكوسج" (١٠٧٤)
Al-Marwazī رحمه الله stated:
I asked Imām Ahmad, "What about the woman who stipulates that her husband cannot marry another woman, nor have a concubine, and not take her out of her own house (to live with him)?"
Imām Ahmad replied: "All these conditions are for her (it is her right). If the man marries another woman or takes her out of her house, then she can choose to stay or to divorce him."
Ishāq (ibn Rāhawayh) agreed with Ahmad.
٢١٥٠ - إن اشترطت عليه ألا يتزوج عليها]
قلت: امرأة اشترطت على الرجل عند عقدة النكاح ألا تتزوج علي، ولا تتسرى، ولا تخرجني من داري؟
قال: هذِه الشروط كلها لها، فإن تزوج أو
تسرى فهي مخيرةٌ، إن شاءت أقامت معه، وإن شاءت فارقته. قال النبي -صلى اللَّه عليه وسلم-: "إِنَّ أَحَقَّ الشُّرُوطِ أَنْ يُوفَى بِهَا مَا أسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ بِهِ الفُرُوجَ".
قال إسحاق: كما قال.
"مسائل الكوسج" (١٠٧٤)
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Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan حفظه الله said:
"It is incumbent upon the mother to ensure that the newborn is breastfed until weaning. Natural breastfeeding from the mother has a considerable influence on the child's development and health. Allah guides mothers to breastfeed their children for two full years for those who wish to complete breastfeeding to its full term. Allah says: ‘The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling.’ This is because during breastfeeding, the child feels the mother's tenderness; they need this. And modern medicine has proven that there is an increase in the rates of childhood illnesses as well as mortality among formula-fed children. Similarly, breastfeeding is beneficial for the mother, for the health of her uterus after childbirth and for her digestive system. Islam emphasizes this by permitting a breastfeeding mother to break her fast during Ramadan if fasting interferes with breastfeeding. It is possible that among the causes of the lack of affection many children show towards their mothers and the increase in disobedience and ingratitude towards parents in our time, is the absence of breastfeeding and the frequent use of formula.”
تربية الأولاد في ضوء الكتاب والسنة 27
"It is incumbent upon the mother to ensure that the newborn is breastfed until weaning. Natural breastfeeding from the mother has a considerable influence on the child's development and health. Allah guides mothers to breastfeed their children for two full years for those who wish to complete breastfeeding to its full term. Allah says: ‘The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling.’ This is because during breastfeeding, the child feels the mother's tenderness; they need this. And modern medicine has proven that there is an increase in the rates of childhood illnesses as well as mortality among formula-fed children. Similarly, breastfeeding is beneficial for the mother, for the health of her uterus after childbirth and for her digestive system. Islam emphasizes this by permitting a breastfeeding mother to break her fast during Ramadan if fasting interferes with breastfeeding. It is possible that among the causes of the lack of affection many children show towards their mothers and the increase in disobedience and ingratitude towards parents in our time, is the absence of breastfeeding and the frequent use of formula.”
تربية الأولاد في ضوء الكتاب والسنة 27
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It has been reported from Imām Abū Ḥanīfah — may Allah have mercy on him — that he was asked:
“If you give an opinion, but the Book of Allah contradicts it?”
He replied: “I abandon my opinion for the Book of Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He.”
He was then asked: “And if a statement of the Messenger contradicts your opinion?”
He replied: “I abandon my opinion for the statement of the Messenger.”
He was asked: “And if a statement of a Companion contradicts your opinion?”
He replied: “I abandon my opinion for that of the Companion.”
Rujūʿ al-aʾimmah al-mujtahidīn Abī Ḥanīfah wa ṣāḥibayhi, p. 26
“If you give an opinion, but the Book of Allah contradicts it?”
He replied: “I abandon my opinion for the Book of Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He.”
He was then asked: “And if a statement of the Messenger contradicts your opinion?”
He replied: “I abandon my opinion for the statement of the Messenger.”
He was asked: “And if a statement of a Companion contradicts your opinion?”
He replied: “I abandon my opinion for that of the Companion.”
Rujūʿ al-aʾimmah al-mujtahidīn Abī Ḥanīfah wa ṣāḥibayhi, p. 26
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Shaykh ar-Rājihī said:
So the soldiers of Allah are victorious through proof and clarification, just as they overcome their enemies in the battle of fighting with the sword and spear.
And the weapon is knowledge and whoever enters the battle without a weapon, then it is feared for him.
[Shurūḥ Rasāʾil al-Imām al-Mujaddid Muḥammad ibn ʿAbd al-Wahhāb by Shaykh ar-Rājihī 2/298]
So the soldiers of Allah are victorious through proof and clarification, just as they overcome their enemies in the battle of fighting with the sword and spear.
And the weapon is knowledge and whoever enters the battle without a weapon, then it is feared for him.
[Shurūḥ Rasāʾil al-Imām al-Mujaddid Muḥammad ibn ʿAbd al-Wahhāb by Shaykh ar-Rājihī 2/298]
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Ibn Qudamah رحمه الله said:
“A child is a trust in the care of his parents and his heart is a raw jewel capable of taking any shape. If he is raised upon goodness, he will grow with it and his parents and his educator will share in his reward. But if he is raised upon evil, it will cling to him and the burden will fall upon the guardian’s neck. Therefore, he must be protected, educated and disciplined, taught the virtues of good character, kept from bad companions, not indulged in luxury and not made to love the ways of comfort and ease.”
مختصر منهاج القاصدين 159
“A child is a trust in the care of his parents and his heart is a raw jewel capable of taking any shape. If he is raised upon goodness, he will grow with it and his parents and his educator will share in his reward. But if he is raised upon evil, it will cling to him and the burden will fall upon the guardian’s neck. Therefore, he must be protected, educated and disciplined, taught the virtues of good character, kept from bad companions, not indulged in luxury and not made to love the ways of comfort and ease.”
مختصر منهاج القاصدين 159
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Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:
"How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honouring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them. They have not benefited from having a child and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter. If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents."
تحفة المودود 146
"How many people have caused misery to their own children, the apples of their eyes, in this world and in the Hereafter, by neglecting them, not disciplining them, encouraging them to follow their whims and desires, thinking that they were honouring them when they were in fact humiliating them, that they were being merciful to them when in fact they were wronging them. They have not benefited from having a child and they have made the child lose his share in this world and in the Hereafter. If you think about the corruption of children you will see that in most cases it is because of the parents."
تحفة المودود 146
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Forwarded from Muhammad James Sutton
If you see a layman constantly speaking about Muslim governments while residing his entire life in the West and constantly involving himself in issues of takfeer, say to him, "Excuse me officer. Can I get your badge number?"
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Media is too big
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How a nasheed should be vs. the nasheeds we hear nowadays
"Humms, tu tu and tem tem sounds, recorded and composed to be like music. And imitating music is not permissible” - Ustadh Abdulaziz al Haqqan (حفظه الله)
"Humms, tu tu and tem tem sounds, recorded and composed to be like music. And imitating music is not permissible” - Ustadh Abdulaziz al Haqqan (حفظه الله)
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In the life of a human being, there are multiple stages that end with death.
To have imaan and to hold your deen. Tawakkul in Allah is very important.
You can't rely upon yourself, nor will an enormous amount of guilt and blaming yourself for the wrong decisions and steps you took free you.
You don't hold the power to forgive yourself, nor anyone else except Allah.
Allah is the One who forgives.
You hate yourself? You can't stand yourself? So, slowly, you abandoned your own existence, even though you are living, praying, but there is no you in you.
But this will not solve anything. The part that sinned, that disobeyed, is you. It's not a part of you or a self-altered individual. No, it's you.
It is you. You can't abandon yourself, lock yourself down.
Perfecting Tawheed, establishing Tawheed not only on your tongue but also in your mind and heart is necessary (obviously, action is a must).
All this struggle, why? Because saying and reading, but not truly understanding the Tawheed of Allah, makes you lose hope in the mercy of Allah and put hope in your actions.
Fear Allah for what He is capable of. Fear Allah that this might be the last time you have.
To have imaan and to hold your deen. Tawakkul in Allah is very important.
You can't rely upon yourself, nor will an enormous amount of guilt and blaming yourself for the wrong decisions and steps you took free you.
You don't hold the power to forgive yourself, nor anyone else except Allah.
Allah is the One who forgives.
You hate yourself? You can't stand yourself? So, slowly, you abandoned your own existence, even though you are living, praying, but there is no you in you.
But this will not solve anything. The part that sinned, that disobeyed, is you. It's not a part of you or a self-altered individual. No, it's you.
It is you. You can't abandon yourself, lock yourself down.
Perfecting Tawheed, establishing Tawheed not only on your tongue but also in your mind and heart is necessary (obviously, action is a must).
All this struggle, why? Because saying and reading, but not truly understanding the Tawheed of Allah, makes you lose hope in the mercy of Allah and put hope in your actions.
Fear Allah for what He is capable of. Fear Allah that this might be the last time you have.
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